toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

[Nathon Detroit]

The TheologyOnline.com TOPIC OF THE DAY for May 23rd, 2011 10:16 AM

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

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[Nihilo]

The TheologyOnline.com TOPIC OF THE DAY for May 23rd, 2011 10:16 AM

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

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Mark 10:2-5

A hard heart.

 

[Four O'Clock]

Well, according to the Bible, there are.
My father died very young (39) and my mother met Bob at church.
He was divorced (wife's infidelity), remarried (same woman, with their daughter in mind) and divorced again (continued infidelity on wife's part).
Mom read the Bible carefully in order to not be outside Scripture's dictates on divorce/remarriage. She was convinced that it was not improper to marry Bob based on her reading/understanding.

 

[Buzzword]

Infidelity seems pretty clear-cut.

Though I have seen cases (such as my wife's when she was a child) in which a divorce is more beneficial to the children involved than for the parents to remain bound at the hip when they clearly hate each other.

Can't hide that kind of thing from the kids, and IMO it's better to have their parents separate and potentially enter into healthy second marriages than to have the kids see nothing but backbiting and overt hatred.

The first male-female interaction most kids see is their parents, and in most cases they follow that example in their own relationships.

 

[bybee]

Infidelity seems pretty clear-cut.

Though I have seen cases (such as my wife's when she was a child) in which a divorce is more beneficial to the children involved than for the parents to remain bound at the hip when they clearly hate each other.

Can't hide that kind of thing from the kids, and IMO it's better to have their parents separate and potentially enter into healthy second marriages than to have the kids see nothing but backbiting and overt hatred.

The first male-female interaction most kids see is their parents, and in most cases they follow that example in their own relationships.

Every effort to solve marital problems ought to be made first. If resolution cannot be found then, yes if infidelity continues, also wherein one spouse is guilty of physical, mental or spiritual abuse.

 

[HisServant]

Infidelity, abandonment, abuse... etc.

 

[Granite]

Yes, and the reasons are numerous.

 

[Quincy]

Depending on what view? :idunno: everyone has a different answer to this question, just like all questions. I divorced because my ex wife was having abortions behind my back and hanging out with her friends more than she was me. Who knows what she did, I don't personally care what she did while out. That is all besides the matter that there was no trust therefore there was no emotional bond. We were divorced long before the courts "said it's so". I just feel sorry for people who have some sort of dogmatic reasoning to stay in a distrustful, abusive relationship, where the abuser is clearly taking advantage of the abusee's beliefs.

 

[Buzzword]

Every effort to solve marital problems ought to be made first. If resolution cannot be found then, yes if infidelity continues, also wherein one spouse is guilty of physical, mental or spiritual abuse.

True, especially when it can be determined that the infidelity and/or abuse is the result of MALICE, and therefore manipulation.

If malice can't be determined or isn't present, I believe couples should make every effort possible to determine the deeper causes of the infidelity or abuse before considering divorce.

A couple who both truly love each other isn't going to just dissolve on a whim.

 

[Eggasai]

Marriage is like a contract, if one side breaks the covenant the marriage is over. Obviously, fornication/adultery are unacceptable and reasonable cause for a divorce. Jesus was asked about grounds for divorce and he simply said except for fornication there is no good reason. I happen to think that fidelity involves more then forsaking others, if you have ever seen a marriage go bad with fighting and arguing you can easily understand that there are grounds for divorce other then fornication.

Divorce is never as God intended, the way I see it, if you don't want to be married to someone divorce, don't just torture one another.

Grace and peace,
Mark

 

[chrysostom]

if your spouse somehow prevents you from practicing your religion
but
if you have kids, they are more important than your religion

the child joins you together

 

[Rusha]

Yes ... infidelity and abuse.

 

[Rusha]

if your spouse somehow prevents you from practicing your religion
but
if you have kids, they are more important than your religion

the child joins you together

I find this answer odd coming from a Christian. Most Christians have a priority to raise their children in a Christian home.

A spouse that prevents you from practicing your religion would not allow this.

 

[warren clark]

The TheologyOnline.com TOPIC OF THE DAY for May 23rd, 2011 10:16 AM

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

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Legally yes.
religiously, possibly.

Personally, if two people are truly in love nothing can separate the two people.
Other wise it isn't love.

But people get married outside of real, true, pure love all the time.

So legally yes, it is justifiable.

 

[Quasar1011]

1st Corinthians 7:14-15
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

When my ex wanted to leave, I scoured the Bible to see what it said about marriage. Since she never claimed to be Christian, this applied in my case.

 

[genuineoriginal]

Can't hide that kind of thing from the kids, and IMO it's better to have their parents separate and potentially enter into healthy second marriages than to have the kids see nothing but backbiting and overt hatred.

My parents divorced after years of backbiting and overt hatred, and the divorce was worse on me than the previous years. The divorce caused me to lose faith in many of the things my parents had taught me, and it has taken way too many years to recover.

 

[Sherman]

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I did a lot of digging on this subject to make this post.

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

Let take a look at what Jesus had to say about divorce:

Matthew 5: 51-32 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Jesus' words here don't offer a lot of support for divorce except in the case of fornication.

Matthew 19:6-8 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Again his statement as recorded in the book of Mark:

Mark 10:2-11 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Now what we need to determine is--what kind of Law is this. In the Bible there are three tiers of law:
Laws toward God
Laws toward Man
and Symbolic Laws.
At this time when Jesus was preaching--the Old Covenant is still in effect.

Now in the books written by the apostles we have scriptures pertaining to this subject:

1 Corinthians 7 10-16 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

So it becomes apparent here that the law Jesus is speaking of is a symbolic law. There are a lot of marriage metaphors used to describe God's relationship with Israel. God even divorces Israel in the Book of Lamentations. Lamentations could be called the certificate of divorcement.

All this being said, what are valid grounds for divorce in today's society?

Unfaithfulness,
Abuse. Maybe the spouse ups, leaves and initiates the divorce because she is not a Christian. Paul makes it quite clear that the Christian is not under bondage in this case.

 

[ragTagblues]

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

Las Vegas . . . or Lindsay Lohan!

 

[coulter4president]

The TheologyOnline.com TOPIC OF THE DAY for May 23rd, 2011 10:16 AM

toldailytopic: Are there justifiable reasons for divorce?

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The Roman Catholic Church teaches (yeah, i know, Who cares waht the RCC teaches... but anyhow) that marriage is for life. The only time an annulment is granted (annulment is not a true divorce ) is when it is found that the "marriage" was invalid in the 1st place. this is decided case by case..

One example. 2 ppl are married but 3 yrs later, the wife finds out that husband was having a sexual relationship w/ someone else at the time of the wedding. She didn't know about it until 3 yrs later... she wants a "divorce". The Catholic Church will annul the marriage, not over adultery but due to the fact that the husband showed thro his actions that he was incapable of knowing what a commitment is...

 

[The Horn]

Of course. No woman should stay married to a man who physically abuses her or who abuses her verbally all the time either.
But unfortunately, too many do for far too long, and sometimes they get killed by their husbands.
And abuse of husbands by their wives is not unknown,either.