Deliberately obscure jokes

[musterion]

It was so cold today in D.C. that several elected members of Congress were caught on camera with their hands in their own pockets.

Posting from the 1940s today?

 

[musterion]

Baby seal walks into a club.


















































Doorman says, "Sorry, can't come in without a jacket and tie."

 

[john w]

It was so cold today in D.C. that several elected members of Congress were caught on camera with their hands in their own pockets.

It was so cold today in the Dallas area, that I saw a dog, frozen to a fire hydrant.

 

[musterion]

Mohammed's walking down the street. His old friend Abdul greets him.

Abdul: Hey, Mo, I saw you with your daughter the other night. She's gonna be cute when she grows up.

Mo: That wasn't my daughter, that was my wife.

/too obscure?

 

[john w]

I know I do.

Quality, recognizes quality.

 

[MrDeets]

Have y'all heard about the new Michael Bay film Constipation?









It hasn't come out yet.

 

[john w]

Mohammed's walking down the street. His old friend Abdul greets him.

Abdul: Hey, Mo, I saw you with your daughter the other night. She's gonna be cute when she grows up.

Mo: That wasn't my daughter, that was my wife.

An Arab Arkansan?

 

[musterion]

Some sad news from Australia. The inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

/old Carson joke

 

[musterion]

Caller: Is your refrigerator running?

Woman: Not anymore. I chopped one of its legs off with an axe.

Caller: ...

 

[Tambora]

NEWS FLASH

Another Mohican has been found.
Hollywood producers are in an uproar, as thousands of videos had to be recalled and relabeled The Next to the Last of the Mohicans.

 

[musterion]

Caller: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Man: No, but I have a gimp in a steamer trunk. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe...

Caller: That's it, I quit.

 

[Tambora]

Quality, recognizes quality.

Absolutely.

 

[OCTOBER23]

How many Potted Plants can Musterion Grow in a basement

measuring 20 x 40 ft with blue and red led lights and 2 - 1800 btu heaters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NONE cause he never inhales.---- :cigar:-- :cigar:--- :cigar:----:banana:---:banana:

---------------------------------------------------

 

[musterion]

Skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop."

 

[musterion]

A grasshopper hops into a bar, hops up onto a stool, then up onto the bar. He clears his throat politely and the barkeep notices him.

Barkeep: You know, we have a drink named after you.

Grasshopper: You have a drink named Reggie?

 

[Tambora]

Skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop."

Now, THAT one was funny!

 

[TIPlatypus]

Did you know that 3/2 people struggle with fractions?

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders 1/2 pint, the 3rd, 1/4 pint and so on. The barman just pull out 2 pints and says, "You guys just don't know your limits."

 

[john w]

What is the difference between ignorance(those that do not know how to rightly divide the word of truth, for example), and apathy(those that sit as drones, in their "the"church, for example, studying their weekly "the" church bulletin, or SOF)?

I don't know, and I don't care.

Wait...both of these adverbs describe Naggie, and "god"rulz, and Craigie the Clown, and LALost, and doornob, ...

 

[john w]

What did Mrs. Attila the Hun, say to Attila the Hun?

Come on over here, Hun.

 

[musterion]

((((--->KNOCK-KNOKC<----------})))))!!

Yes, what is it, Paul?