:think: weird thing for a chick to say there... who are you again posting under that name?
Why men won't marry you
- Thread starter serpentdove
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:think: weird thing for a chick to say there... who are you again posting under that name?
1PeaceMaker
New member
As I recall, I already quoted to you Rusha's weird post accusing me of putting men first, women and girls as an afterthought.
What should be weird to you is that she did that.
You do put men first (easily proven since you actually tried to get your hubby to try polygamy for example according to him) , that by far doesnt make a female a misogynist, and usually only men, or very butch women accuse others of thinking they are a misogynist...
Ill bet that was hubby using your name wasnt it...
No, I am fairly certain she didn't find it weird. After all, she has read your posts ...
The only people who benefit from marrying teen girls are the older guys who sought them out.
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:thumb: Didnt think what you said was weird at all, but i think what 1pm said about herself being a misogynist was really really weird for a woman to say.
I don't know how old Timothy was. If a Twenty five year old tried to lead our congregation you would probably hear the grumbling from where you are.
Wouldn't dream of it. I think blame goes on the offending party or party, the one who dishonored his or her vows. I don't think blame should go anywhere else. So if the husband fell to temptation I don't blame God. And I don't blame the betrayed spouse for not being Godly enough or for failing to say the right prayers.
And if our spouse doesn't obey we may be both innocent and penalized.
I don't have the power to read their hearts. But what I said was that over half of those who say he is the center are happy.
Rather, based on the statistics and your biology you ran a high risk of ending up in divorce and with a single parent household by marrying before your mid twenties.
And there are many Christians whose marriages ended in divorce, are there not?
I disagree, but it's not really a point that impacts the actual argument here.
He believed in Christ when he made that mistake. He believed in Christ when he denied him three times. Are you talking about the Holy Spirit descending?
Sure. Adults make mistakes all the time. Peter made one with Paul after what you call his conversion. But the difference is an adult at least has his full faculties and an elevated chance, a fair chance of making an informed call. And when the prefrontal hits its stride the happiness of marriages and the divorce rates reflect a better choice statistically speaking.
Of course I do. Do you see that good people can be misled to their detriment and through no fault of their own?
It isn't a problem, but we aren't static creatures and God isn't a puppet master.
Or you followed urges, conflated emotion with something else and got lucky. Or, God sent you a good man and the two of you worked the relationship and here you are. But otherwise you seem to be arguing that you were, after a fashion, predestined to marry him and be happy.
There are a lot of assumptions in your above. I don't think dating and becoming emotionally vulnerable and attached are necessarily childish pursuits. It's part of the social maturation process. There's value in it, though parents should keep in mind those limitations I'm speaking to and the biology we're both noting and be careful stewards. Those experiences, properly contextualized, can become the helpful trials and means to build and exercise character.
Else, I'm saying that exceptional judgment and young people don't go together. Their processors are faulty and they'll lean into emotions a great deal of the time, make the wrong call much more often than they will a bit later.
No, we know a bit more than that. We know where in the brain we find good judgement and where in the brain we find something lesser. And we know that in people with unfinished prefrontal cortex use the part of the brain that makes poorer, emotional and impulsive decisions.
We know they present a significant challenge with impulse control and judgment. There's a lot of data on what injury to the prefrontal does, both to adults and to the development of children, by way of.
That's a sly bit of goal post moving. I've never said people with full prefrontal development necessarily take advantage of it, only that they can and the younger are hobbled regardless of how they mean to be.
Yes, it could be a remarkable coincidence that right as the prefrontal cortex, which we know impacts judgment, is complete the divorce rates drop significantly. But it's not a reasonable notion.
Then why would God give you a prefrontal cortex at all?
Now if you'd told me that you were lonely and gave that to God and that He impressed upon you the decision to marry and the knowledge that it would answer the point that would be a different, though still exceptional story. Instead you insisted, for years, that He bypass the timing of your maturation and give you what you wanted and either He saved you from folly or put you in the best position to avoid it.
Not always, since marriages, even happy ones, happen to all sorts of people. I'd say a marriage with God in it, like a life with God in it, is a happier one and a better one.
And there you have the devil among the details. The ever present "if". It only takes one person to move a marriage on that fulcrum.
I don't have the Bible memorized just yet. It isn't really about figuring a thing out. It's just an honest admission.
Because you're reading in a larger command. As per Gill's:
Be ye therefore perfect, as your Father,.... This perfection is to be restrained to the subject Christ is upon, love to men, and not to be referred to any, or every other thing; wherefore, in Luke 6:36 it is, "be ye merciful, as your Father also is merciful"; and regards not a perfection of degree in that, but objects and quality: that is to say, not that men may, or can, or ought to be as perfect in love, as to the degree of it, as God is; that is impossible: the "as" here, is not a note of equality, but of likeness: such, who profess God to be their Father, ought to imitate him, particularly in their love to men, which ought to be extended to the same objects, as the divine goodness is; that, as he shows regard in a providential way to all men, good and bad, just and unjust, and his tender mercies are over all his works; so ought they to love all men with a natural affection, and hate no man, no, not their enemies: for he that loves only his friends, and not his enemies, loves imperfectly; he does not take in the whole compass of objects his love is to extend unto; and as God loves sincerely, and without dissimulation, so should they.
Whenever anyone tells me that they're perfectly suited I nod and move on to the next subject. I'm going to omit you blaming the seventy percent for not being as upright as you, if you don't mind.
I have a test for you. Pray to God that no one can deceive you and then let me make a series of statements. You'll know which ones are true and which aren't, right? Not a single mistake no matter how many facts I relate mixed with any number of falsehoods.
David was likely looking pretty good to his wife. Then what happened?
It's their own fault again...you'd know. They got what they should have seen coming. Okay, at least you're consistent.
Then you're just objectively wrong and should look into the science. We know a good deal about the brain these days. It's an interesting field of study.
Necessity. You have to develop feet before you can walk on them. It doesn't stand to reason that once toddlers can we should let them wander off wherever they might want to go. It's another reason for good stewardship.
1PeaceMaker
New member
Quote. I know you can't, because no such thing would have been said. Unreal.
It does, too. you can't be a bigoted preferrer of people like that and love them. God made us exactly the same in the Spirit.
.
So now you question my gender identity....
....and now my user identity.
lain:
Ouch. Read it and weep. Better talk to your husband quick since he said it just as i said, that IS your husband isnt it?
You may apologize now for implying i lied. :cloud9:
No worries here, i questioned whether it was a woman called 1pm posting, or her husband elohiym/doormat posting under her name, dont know which you are, but i do see he posts under 1pms name to fix her "dismal failures".
yes, i did. :cigar:....and now my user identity.
1PeaceMaker
New member
You might want to rethink that little bossy demand since you just actually lied that my husband posts as me. There isn't any evidence of that because it doesn't happen.
How do you "see that" oh, disruptive one?
This old post is 9 years old, but I still fail to see how you construe this as trying to get him to try it. I merely suggested it, didn't "try to get him to try it," as you said, and don't have any problem with that. Most of the old members who know me should know by now that one reason we left the SDA church was because of the way they persecute successful, happy polygamous marriages, couching them as sin and making children live in broken homes.
I didn't play cupid with him or pressure him or try to get him to try anything. I just explored it with him as a conversational suggestion. I realized after our talk that I'd be putting my husband into a very difficult life if I expected him to serve more than one woman and her kids. And since I don't want to stress him to death, it's out of the question.
I have AS, he has PTSD, and he does just fine loving and caring for the one family.
Much to my everlasting chagrin, there is a group of people operating rather successfully in American society whose open-mindedness has caused their brains to fall out!
You might want to retrace your steps to try to locate that which is so obviously lost?
That you would suggest it at all is amazing to me.
Lets check on that - complete context (since you have a hard time keeping up with what is said and lie so much:
Ouch. Read it and weep. Better talk to your husband quick since he said it just as i said, that IS your husband isnt it?
You may apologize now for implying i lied. :cloud9:
No worries here, i questioned whether it was a woman called 1pm posting, or her husband elohiym/doormat posting under her name, dont know which you are, but i do see he posts under 1pms name to fix her "dismal failures".
yes, i did. :cigar:....and now my user identity.
Hmm, looks to me like i didnt lie about anything, you did, and just did it again when you falsely accused me here. I didnt state he did it, i asked if he did, and said it looks like he does, learn how to read.
Age of the post has nothing to do with whether he said what i claimed he said, now does it. And hello out there, he said plainly you suggested it for your marriage, and if thats not trying to get him to try it, nothing is.
Do you really think people are stupid, your best bet would have been not to deny it, like you both try to deny what you both say all the time.
:juggle:
All irrelevant to what was said, you denied it -said it never happened- said i couldnt quote it, when it did happen and happened just like i said and i proved it - and now you just lie again and try to trash me.
If you aren't woman enough to apologize, no one can force you, it just makes you look worse.
PS - you also know that i questioned it, not stated it as fact as your own post shows you understood the difference yourself, and just lied when you claimed i lied - your own words showing you clearly understood what i was saying and then tried to lie about it anyway -
So now you question my gender identity....
....and now my user identity.
I don't think that's possible.
1PeaceMaker
New member
You haven't made a point unless you are implying that marriage corrupts young adults to a greater degree.
The issue isn't whether the spouse is innocent. The issue is whether the spouse let God choose and whether God expected them to take on a cheater or ungodly person, as he did with one of the minor prophets. I imagine that a Godly person might know they were stepping into trouble and still do it. If divorce or rocky roads come, it's part of the package, and not the failure of God or His child.
That leaves a lot of confused Christians. God at the center would be a 100% happy scenario.
Risk had nothing to do with it. And if you calculate all factors separately my personal risk was astronomically high because of one thing I didn't even know about yet. I have AS, which makes my risk of divorce over 80% - depending on the study you go with.
Should people with AS get married?
My prefrontal cortex may never hit it's stride. That's AS for you.
If God is doing the leading, there will be no being misled.
Is it our fault if we don't let God lead us into marriage? If we take our own path, even if we aren't the "bad guy" we still took a wrong turn in choosing a mate, and the blame of making a mistake - innocent though the mistake may be - falls on the chooser.
You are naming a problem, one you see as preventing God from answering. God didn't need to be a puppet master to do the wife-picking for Isaac.
I didn't realize I started liking him and get mushy. I miraculously realized that there was an attraction of him to me (I have AS - yes it's a miracle to me) and I began seeking advice and permission from my parents, seeking counsel from others, and praying, setting out my metaphorical fleece for signs.
The Bible uses that word. So obviously some things are predestined. You don't have to be TULIP to understand that. I had been praying for 3 years straight and God was rocking his world at the same time. God tenderized his heart and life while I was praying. When I got to him finally, DING he was done. Prepared to be my committed spouse.
So you believe in getting your heart broken before marriage? You think that builds maturity? I think it builds baggage.
When I was a teen I read a book called "dating vs courtship" I suggest you read it before little Jack is old enough to have his heart broken.
And are you saying what I was setting apart from the typical games would not mature a youth faster or in any other way affect their behavior, judgment and choice making?
"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness" Tim 2:22
As someone with a faulty cortex, I find your comments to be uninformed.
You don't realize how this makes you look to adult Aspies. Does God talk less to us? Or leave us as great fools to biology without His compass to guide us through life?
Besides, if you were right we would be missing that part of the Bible that says good judgment comes from the prefrontal cortex at a certain age. But instead God says he gives good judgment to those who seek Him.
I question the scientific soundness of your belief source at this point. Maybe we could take a more in depth look?
It is reasonable to postulate that younger people would be more foolish for lack of experience, but also, since finances are linked, are you saying that those who divorce over finances are revealing a lack of prefrontal development, which explains their poverty, too?
Regardless, people without hard hearts are not in the same risk category. I'd be in a much higher risk category than a neurotypical woman just because of my cortex, but that only applies if we had a hard heart in our marriage. See what I'm saying?
For the same reason he gave you two halves to your brain and a cerebellum. Tools in your toolbox. If you are cooking and I take your knife, you can still use a butter knife but I bet you'll miss the big chopper. The cortex is not the chef; it's the knife.
That's the story, actually. The breaking point for me was when I had no one to travel out of country with me on mission trips, even though I had a sponsor.
I did no such thing. I prayed for a spouse. I gave the idea of celibacy to him, also. I believed, though that eventually God would give me one so I asked that He would already begin preparing us. I wasn't setting any timeline, either. I didn't know if I'd have to marry at 30 based on all the put-downs I lived with as a younger teen.
No biggie. But read the story, please.
Will I be turning stones into bread at the same time? Seriously, bad idea, you.
No, actually that's not what the Bible says about it. The Bible pegs maturity at sexual development combined with putting away childish things/thinking/acting. And in nature you won't find an animal sexually mature learning to "walk on it" before getting pregnant.
1PeaceMaker
New member
1PeaceMaker
New member
FYI It's you, A4T, who is doing the trashing. (with Rusha encouraging you)
yes my opinion, what i see, do you know what that means? Combined with me saying i question it and your own words, that said i questioned it meaning you understood it perfectly, and just acted like you didnt because you look bad now.
I question that all your 1pm posts, are only a female calling herself 1pm. I believe that some of them are written by a man calling himself elohiym/doormat.
Thats been explained, hard of understanding, or just desperate?
1PeaceMaker
New member
You still want to try talking to me after accusing me of being a hard-hearted murderer over not vaccinating my kids?