elohiym
Well-known member
My wife and I spend a great deal of our time doing what you describe. We can relate to a lot of what you have written on this thread. I was wondering if you go through the process with someone or "go it alone."
"My identity dictates my behavior"
- Thread starter Jamie Gigliotti
- Start date
My wife and I spend a great deal of our time doing what you describe. We can relate to a lot of what you have written on this thread. I was wondering if you go through the process with someone or "go it alone."
PureX
Well-known member
I learned this from a 12-step program, for my own survival, and practiced it with program friends and a 'sponsor' for a long time. I did eventually stop participating in that program, and moved away, but I know it's always there if I need it, and I have acquired new friends over the years that I can trust to be honest with me if I talk to them about these sorts of things.
Also, I am a life-long artist, and believe it or not, the creative process that artists go through tends to involve a lot of investigation of our own perspective and understanding of things. So my mind is often found in that 'ballpark', anyway. It's in my nature.
He would approve of what you misunderstand as that thing. Relying on Christ entirely isn't boasting, though claiming your works will save you seems rather hard to call anything else.
Ask Donald Trump.
Jamie Gigliotti
New member
Pyschologists say we tend to mostly get our identity through how others see us, how we are accepted, or rejected. Truly getting our identity, our acceptence, our love from God requires a spiritual intimacy, love connection with God that can truly change who we are and how we clearly see ourselves in relationship to Him.
PureX
Well-known member
I don't really understand it, either.
I have a good friend who is a life-long 'conservative republican', to the point that he really believes whatever the conservative republican spin machine tells him to believe regarding social issues, politics, and economics. I mean he believes it immediately, automatically, and fully. And he believes he believes it, himself, when I can see as plain as day that he believes it simply because he's being told to believe by this group that he has so intently identified himself with.
I suspect there are some very deep psychological reasons involving his childhood that have something to do with it. But even still, I suspect I would have reacted very differently to those same circumstances. So maybe it's just been written into his DNA. He was coded to be a 'follower' and he just can't help himself. I am certain that he has no idea that he's doing this. And he would be very insulted if I even suggested it to him.
I don't understand it. But it seems I am seeing more and more of this 'self-identification by external group-think' these days because the media has figured out that this tendency exists in people and can easily be exploited to it's own advantage. As have the republican party. And so they are both exploiting it to their maximum effect and there are apparently a lot of people who are susceptible to it, for whatever reason. But don't bother trying to tell them about it, because they will not hear you, and they will become very insulted by your even suggesting it.
"My identity dictates my behavior"
not exactly
you are what you do
not exactly
you are what you do
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
I think that the more people have invested themselves in an idea, the stronger they'll hold onto their convictions. Repeated public affirmation increases internal belief; saying is believing.
doing is believing
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
I don't know if I can explain this well enough: the saying, in the way I meant it, is a doing. A public affirmation is taking a stand, it's an action. So in that we agree. As I said earlier in the thread, attitude follows behavior. The more a person does something, the more he or she has to agree internally with what they're doing, to avoid feeling uncomfortable.
yes.
Talk is the only form of doing on a forum. Now you two pipe down already. We understand everyone else is living in your illustrious shadows.
That's not bad and good day.lain:
Good thread, anna, but it could use a little math.
That's not bad and good day.
lain:Good thread, anna, but it could use a little math.
PureX
Well-known member
Yes. I see it as an ego thing. Our egos struggle to protect and maintain our idea of ourselves (and about everything else, too) whether they're good, bad, accurate, or absurd. So we have to tame our egos, and be willing to be both ignorant and wrong, to ever really learn anything, especially about ourselves. And people like my friend have a very difficult time doing that. He's not even aware that it's something he needs to do. And because he was abused as a kid, his self-image is very negative and his ego is quite fragile, and so I think he became a dogmatic follower of his self-identified 'clan' because doing so shores up his self-image and fragile ego.
Unfortunately, it also stops him from engaging in the very introspection that could heal the damage that was done to him.
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ok doser
lifeguard at the cement pond
i am a scratcher of butts? :freak:
nonsense, there's so much more
we can lock our threads, we can bully others, we can parse other's posts into oblivion...
Jamie Gigliotti
New member
If my identity came purely from what I've done good and bad, it would be depressing, unless I've ignored all the bad and puffed my ego up.
We need the forgiveness and love of God to remove the shame, move our hearts to good, and define who we are in Him going forward.