WatchmanOnTheWall
New member
Monsatano
Modern Day Parables
- Thread starter iouae
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Monsatano
Becoming a Christian is like setting out to motorbike around the world. It's an adventure that will exceed expectations.
iouae
Well-known member
A Christian walks into a bar, sees a beautiful young girl, and asks her if he can buy her six beers. They drink the beers and later get up to dance. But he stumbles onto someone's boots, refuses to apologise and gets into a fight. They throw him out, and the young girl helps him back to her apartment and to her bed.
Sorry, did I say a Christian walked into a bar?
Sorry, did I say a Christian walked into a bar?
iouae
Well-known member
In what way is man evil?
Suppose you buy a pet, and it slobbers all over you, wants to walk, digs, chews and barks - and you don't like these qualities, then you should get a cat. If you don't like a trait, then it is to you, bad or evil.
The Hebrew "ra" for "evil" simply means bad, and is the opposite of "good" or "towb" in Hebrew.
Thus good and evil are very simple concepts. What you don't like and find unpleasant or unsuitable, is "ra".
But if you like slinky, silent, disinterested, disobedient, hard to please pets, then a cat is for you. For you it is "towb".
Man is like a dog. Man does what man does in exactly the same way dogs do what dogs do. If God did not exist, man would be like any other animal, and we could describe his behaviour in exactly the same impassionate way that David Attenborough would describe the lesser spotted barn owl. Or maybe like Desmond Morris would describe the naked ape.
"And here we have man, and his slightly smaller and chattier female counterpart. Both like to spend their days looking at small digital devices, taking selfies, and posting pictures of the plate of spaghetti bolognaise of which they are about to partake.... "
Nothing that man does is intrinsically evil. He just does what is natural, to him.
If God were choosing a pet, would He choose a dog or a cat? Scripture shows God prefers cats. Rev 22:15
If God were choosing a human pet, what sort of human would He choose? Anything He likes would be considered, by Him, "towb", and anything He dislikes would be considered by Him "ra".
So good and evil, in the end, turn out to be what God likes or dislikes. If God likes you, He will give you a good home. If not, you will remain in the animal shelter.
Suppose you buy a pet, and it slobbers all over you, wants to walk, digs, chews and barks - and you don't like these qualities, then you should get a cat. If you don't like a trait, then it is to you, bad or evil.
The Hebrew "ra" for "evil" simply means bad, and is the opposite of "good" or "towb" in Hebrew.
Thus good and evil are very simple concepts. What you don't like and find unpleasant or unsuitable, is "ra".
But if you like slinky, silent, disinterested, disobedient, hard to please pets, then a cat is for you. For you it is "towb".
Man is like a dog. Man does what man does in exactly the same way dogs do what dogs do. If God did not exist, man would be like any other animal, and we could describe his behaviour in exactly the same impassionate way that David Attenborough would describe the lesser spotted barn owl. Or maybe like Desmond Morris would describe the naked ape.
"And here we have man, and his slightly smaller and chattier female counterpart. Both like to spend their days looking at small digital devices, taking selfies, and posting pictures of the plate of spaghetti bolognaise of which they are about to partake.... "
Nothing that man does is intrinsically evil. He just does what is natural, to him.
If God were choosing a pet, would He choose a dog or a cat? Scripture shows God prefers cats. Rev 22:15
If God were choosing a human pet, what sort of human would He choose? Anything He likes would be considered, by Him, "towb", and anything He dislikes would be considered by Him "ra".
So good and evil, in the end, turn out to be what God likes or dislikes. If God likes you, He will give you a good home. If not, you will remain in the animal shelter.
iouae
Well-known member
The fall of man was like unto a Mom who saves a huge piece of chocolate cake in the fridge with a note "Do not touch" attached. The son comes home from football hungry. He sees the note, and he sees the cake. His mouth waters, and he eats the cake.
Mom returns from a hard day at the office. She has been looking forward to this moment all day. She goes to the fridge, and all she finds are a few dark crumbs. So she sends her son off to boarding school as punishment.
But after a while the Mom thinks to herself, "Maybe I was a little rough on him". I am going to bring him back home.
And so it is with God.
After the flood, God repented Himself, and realised that he had been too harsh on His child. After all, growing boys are hungry and stupid. So God rescinded the curse he had placed on His child.
Gen 8:21
And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done
Mom returns from a hard day at the office. She has been looking forward to this moment all day. She goes to the fridge, and all she finds are a few dark crumbs. So she sends her son off to boarding school as punishment.
But after a while the Mom thinks to herself, "Maybe I was a little rough on him". I am going to bring him back home.
And so it is with God.
After the flood, God repented Himself, and realised that he had been too harsh on His child. After all, growing boys are hungry and stupid. So God rescinded the curse he had placed on His child.
Gen 8:21
And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done
It also comes with a lot of agreements restrictions and hidden fees...
Now if I could only find a provider who I can believe has paid all these fees...I would be more than happy to clean my cookies etc
How I wish the innernutz was more like the kingdom of heaven...wouldnt have to be so careful where i went and wouldnt be spammed with so much useless stuff
lol...this is a good thread...thanks
CherubRam
New member
True, spelling varies from nation to nation. Spelling has also changed over the many years.
iouae
Well-known member
And if it were not for the spelling checker, how badly I spell would be more apparent. Though I do end up fighting the spelling checker with names, and some words it thinks should not exist.
If the net is like kingdom of God, we don't have to worry about being banned to claiming striving to obey Jesus is condition to be in the kingdom.
Or treated like enemy of Jesus.
iouae
Well-known member
The kingdom of heaven is like unto an entrepreneur who developed this amazing widget, which only he could make, and which everyone needed.
So the entrepreneur sets up his factory, and opens a shop at great personal sacrifice to himself.
And nobody comes.
The entrepreneur knows they need this widget so badly, he knows he is right, but now he knows something else.
Selling this widget is going to be a lot harder than anticipated.
The entrepreneur is God, and the widget is salvation.
So the entrepreneur sets up his factory, and opens a shop at great personal sacrifice to himself.
And nobody comes.
The entrepreneur knows they need this widget so badly, he knows he is right, but now he knows something else.
Selling this widget is going to be a lot harder than anticipated.
The entrepreneur is God, and the widget is salvation.
The Sailor Exam -
"Alright" says the Admiral giving him his examination, "Here's the scenario - your close to the shore, and a massive bout of wind is driving your ship unstoppably towards the rocks, what do you do?"
"Well id probably attach a few reserve sails to the starboard side and see if i could turn her"
"Its impossible lad" The admiral says "The wind is too strong, your ship is still being blown towards the rocks, what do you do?"
Again, the new Captain says" Id probably attach a few more sails to the starboard side sir"
"Alright fine", says the Admiral "You do this, but the wind still picks up more, what do you do?
"Attach more sails to the starboard side sir"
The Admiral loses his temper "Where on earth are you getting all these sails from?"
"The same place youre getting all your wind from"
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/41lfl4/its_the_age_of_sailing_ships_and_a_prospective/
"Alright" says the Admiral giving him his examination, "Here's the scenario - your close to the shore, and a massive bout of wind is driving your ship unstoppably towards the rocks, what do you do?"
"Well id probably attach a few reserve sails to the starboard side and see if i could turn her"
"Its impossible lad" The admiral says "The wind is too strong, your ship is still being blown towards the rocks, what do you do?"
Again, the new Captain says" Id probably attach a few more sails to the starboard side sir"
"Alright fine", says the Admiral "You do this, but the wind still picks up more, what do you do?
"Attach more sails to the starboard side sir"
The Admiral loses his temper "Where on earth are you getting all these sails from?"
"The same place youre getting all your wind from"
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/41lfl4/its_the_age_of_sailing_ships_and_a_prospective/
CherubRam
New member
People know what they want, but they do not always know what they need.
iouae
Well-known member
My house is full of things I once wanted, but found I don't need. And things I need are wanting, including space.
CherubRam
New member
I have the same problem. Perhaps it is time for me to give some things away.
iouae
Well-known member
I have known hoarders who live their whole life barely able to move for stuff. Then they die. This leaves a big problem to clean up. But the saddest thing is how much they sacrificed all their life for their stuff. Imagine living one's whole life stepping over junk, all for nothing.
We have bin pickers and I leave stuff on the sidewalk for them. The neighbours frown on this because they consider the poor to be dishonest just pretending to pick, while really just casing the suburb to come back later to steal. The neighbours are wrong. Yesterday someone put a large bird cage and desk on the sidewalk for pickers and the local whatsapp group went hysterical.
CherubRam
New member
I have a bunch of tools I do not use any more. I never had a problem selling such things before, but now it seems that young men stay away from working with their hands. Perhaps by Spring I can get rid of a lot of it. I have also been giving away things. I am surprised at how much trouble it is to give away paintings and other such things.