Honoring Old Love vs Medical Tyranny

[Rusha]

I am not frigid by any of the 5 above definitions. My husband has no problem with me finding a good looking man handsome. He's not insecure.

Indeed. Secure men would have no problem with this.

:chuckle:

 

[elohiym]

Is yours ex-wife laughing as well?

Some of us get a second chance.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I believe you're right. This is more like rape.

:thumb: Exactly.

Apparently his *needs* are more important than her health and well being.

Of his uncontrollable libido ... which ranked much higher than his wife.

NURSING HOME. Ill individuals receiving medical care. This wasn't the "Love Shack" or a motel room.

While it is certainly possible that the husband has dementia as well that doesn't mean he gets a pass to use the hospital for his own personal whims.

YOU are declaring medical tyranny because a man is not allowed to use a MEDICAL FACILITY as his own private love shack and disgusted with the woman who was in earshot of his rudeness.

It's bad enough that anyone (spouse included) would take advantage of a person with dementia. This is about HIS needs ... and HIS comfort. Comfort could have come in the form of holding her hand.


Well, taking these types of illnesses seriously is something that comes with maturity. I won't apologize for not being amused over the husband's lack of priorities in regards to his ill wife.

How much honor or love is being shown to person whose dementia is so serious she is hospitalized?

I can understand his missing her and being lonely, however, she was ill and it's probable she did not have the capability of consenting.

The OP title is trying to spin this as a romantic, honorable event. Was his love and support only offered under the condition of sex?

I agree that this husband shouldn't have been manhandling his sick wife.

Nah, I am not ashamed for defending patients against abuse. However, you feel free to keep defending the guy who confessed. :chuckle:

Why is it that you don't believe the accused rapist's confession? He admitted to sexual activity.

Why is his confession not enough for you? :think:

That's interesting ... and all Traditio. That you and few others are so concerned about "the man". Poor guy .... in such a state of mind that others had to make his decisions and physically care for him. How on earth could anyone be expected to forgo sex even though their loved one is on death's doorstep?

Here, let me clear it up for you. I am only interested in the helpless victim he had his way with.

Rusha is erring on the side of caution.

What about caution where it concerns the heart of a grieving widower being accused of raping his deceased beloved wife? The trial is about to begin.

 

[elohiym]

Indeed. Secure men would have no problem with this.

You think you can get your way by inferring if you don't the man is insecure?

 

[elohiym]

I understand the disease.

How so?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I would like to talk about the idea in general of consent and illnesses like dementia.

Since sex is healthy like exercise or even moreso, not immoral in marriage and doesn't become harmful only because the mind is half gone I don't think (absent physical or emotional signs of abuse) restricting the activity of a happy couple over mental deterioration will serve any purpose other than to create another artificial criminal class - full of elderly, non-violent, family-oriented, God-loving, praying, people.

 

[elohiym]

Since sex is healthy like exercise or even moreso ...

That's what health professionals claim.

Spoiler

The Top 11 Health Benefits of Sex

Regular sex cannot be underestimated as a factor for reducing stress, bolstering self-esteem and fostering feelings of intimacy and bonding between partners.

But the real point of this article is the fact that a healthy sex life can provide for a longer, healthier and, most would agree, more enjoyable life. Among the many health benefits of sex are:

1. Improved Immunity

People who have sex frequently (one or two times a week) have significantly higher levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA).1 Your IgA immune system is your body's first line of defense.

Its job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for activation of your body's immune system. This may explain why people who have sex frequently also take fewer sick days.2

2. Heart Health

Men who made love regularly (at least twice a week) were 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less, according to one study.3

Sexual activity not only provides many of the same benefits to your heart as exercise but also keeps levels of estrogen and testosterone in balance, which is important for heart health.

3. Lower Blood Pressure

Sexual activity, and specifically intercourse, is linked to better stress response and lower blood pressure.4

4. It's a Form of Exercise

Sex helps to boost your heart rate, burn calories and strengthen muscles, just like exercise. In fact, research recently revealed that sex burns about 4 calories a minute for men and 3 for women, making it (at times) a 'significant' form of exercise.5 It can even help you to maintain your flexibility and balance.

5. Pain Relief

Sexual activity releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to help reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as pain from menstrual cramps, arthritis and headaches. One study even found that sexual activity can lead to partial or complete relief of headache in some migraine and cluster-headache patients.6

6. May Help Reduce Risk of Prostate Cancer

Research has shown that men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month (during sex or masturbation) have a lower risk of prostate cancer.7 This link needs to be explored further, however, as there may have been additional factors involved in the association.

7. Improve Sleep

After sex, the relaxation-inducing hormone prolactin is released, which may help you to nod off more quickly. The "love hormone" oxytocin, released during orgasm, also promotes sleep.

8. Stress Relief

Sex triggers your body to release its natural feel-good chemicals, helping to ease stress and boost pleasure, calm and self-esteem. Research also shows that those who have sexual intercourse responded better when subjected to stressful situations like speaking in public.8

9. Boost Your Libido

The more often you have sex, the more likely you are to want to keep doing it. There's a mental connection there but also a physical one, particularly for women. More frequent sex helps to increase vaginal lubrication, blood flow and elasticity,9 which in turn make sexual activity more enjoyable.

10. Improved Bladder Control in Women

Intercourse helps to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which contract during orgasm. This can help women to improve their bladder control and avoid incontinence. You can boost this benefit even more by practicing Kegel exercises during sex (a Kegel squeeze is performed by drawing your lower pelvic muscles up and holding them up high and tight, as if you're trying to stop a flow of urine).

11. Increase Intimacy and Improve Your Relationship

Sex and orgasms result in increased levels of the hormone oxytocin -- the "love" hormone -- that helps you feel bonded to your partner, and better experience empathic connections.​

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Could they have brought in help at their mothers home. Technically yes, but that is VERY expensive, and insurance will only cover so much.

The daughters could have worked with one another where insurance or savings fell short.

They only had to help them get through a few hard years. What dignity that would have been, to stay at home until the end. But then they wouldn't have been able to break up the marriage bed.

 

[Rusha]

Some of us get a second chance.

It's wonderful that she got a second chance.

 

[Rusha]

You think you can get your way by inferring if you don't the man is insecure?

What does that have to do with knowing the difference between secure VS. insecure?

 

[Rusha]

What about caution where it concerns the heart of a grieving widower being accused of raping his deceased beloved wife? The trial is about to begin.

What about it? He will get as fair of a trial as any other individual being accused of this crime.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

What about it? He will get as fair of a trial as any other individual being accused of this crime.

What about the court of public opinion, from which his jury is drawn? They are on their own recognizance supposed not to look, but I argue as though one might search up the name of the accused.

And what about the man's children? What do you want them to read?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

And the man himself can search online and read this potentially. He's alive and holding office right this minute.

 

[Sitamun]

And the man himself can search online and read this potentially. He's alive and holding office right this minute.

What's your point? That he could see this? So could a number of people see a number of threads in which we've discussed them. I thought I read that he retired from public office. Anyway, I stand by everything I've said. I do not know the intimate details of his marriage. I can not definitively call him guilty or innocent, simply because there are many conflicting details that I have seen. However, I also have seen no evidence that could lead to a guilty verdict. More information may come out at the trial, we will just have to wait and see.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

What's your point?

I think you are about to get it...

Anyway, I stand by everything I've said. I do not know the intimate details of his marriage. I can not definitively call him guilty or innocent .... More information may come out at the trial, we will just have to wait and see.

Why is his confession not enough for you? :think:

The honorable Rusha has already ruled for the court of opinion. This session is now in recess.

 

[Sitamun]

I think you are about to get it...






The honorable Rusha has already ruled for the court of opinion. This session is now in recess.

Rusha has spoken for no one other than herself, and unless you are saying that you share Rusha's opinion then she does not speak for all.

 

[Rusha]

Rusha has spoken for no one other than herself, and unless you are saying that you share Rusha's opinion then she does not speak for all.

He confessed, and the decision is in the hands of the court. I stand by the fact that there is no good reason for a spouse to expect a medical facility to be his personal *love shack*.

Perhaps the guy is too befuddled to understand that any sexual contact where the party in question is unable to consent is considered rape.

Also, I am going on record as stating that this is just another example of bashing the medical profession by pretending this isn't about illness, coherency but only about ... love. Love=sex. Apparently. Nothing else. Without being able to have sex one cannot love their partner.

There is no tyranny. In the husband's case, there is no love or honor. Frankly, I feel sorry for the woman and empathize with her daughters.

 

[The Barbarian]

I don't see it as this clear-cut. Even the fact are unclear, with contradictory statements on both sides.

Maybe it's because I'm getting old, but I think it's annoying that I might have to leave some kind of statement that I wouldn't mind having sex, even if I was no longer capable of giving consent.

Anyone who know me, and my relationship with Mrs. B, would know that. But common sense no longer seems to count for much.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Rusha has spoken for no one other than herself

And in the court of opinion, that's all she has to do as a judge of life. Did you notice the substance of her question and will you answer it? It might as well have been addressed to you.

and unless you are saying that you share Rusha's opinion then she does not speak for all.

If I shared her opinion then it would not mean she spoke for all, even then. Supreme courts are much like the court of opinion. If public opinion is swayed against the man for what he did, then old people might endangered.

He confessed, and the decision is in the hands of the court. I stand by the fact that there is no good reason for a spouse to expect a medical facility to be his personal *love shack*.

Then why do old married people live together in one room in those places, *shacked up* - with the approval of their Alzheimer's experts?

Perhaps the guy is too befuddled

He's not running for re-election but he has a sound enough mind to hold a seat to this day.

... to understand that any sexual contact where the party in question is unable to consent is considered rape.

So when I sneak up on my beloved and start flirting physically to get his attention, it's assault? It's not like I wait for consent to start. I listen/watch for oral or unspoken withdrawal of intimate consent if he's not into me.

In fact, sometimes we might drink. We can't give consent if we are mentally impaired, right, so would that be automatically assault or predation to take advantage of an inebriated spouse? Nevermind if they wanted it before having 3 beers, and still wanted it....

Also, I am going on record as stating that this is just another example of bashing the medical profession by pretending this isn't about illness, coherency but only about ... love.

What evidence for this judgment have you?

Love=sex. Apparently. Nothing else. Without being able to have sex one cannot love their partner.

Is this another *gem* you and Sitamun think you have on us? Delusional much?

There is no tyranny. In the husband's case, there is no love or honor. Frankly, I feel sorry for the woman and empathize with her daughters.

Why would you feel sorry for a woman that could get sex whenever she wanted it, with a man she adored publicly, who didn't stop seeing her as a woman when her mind began slipping, up to the point her daughters put a stop to it?

 

[Sitamun]

I don't see it as this clear-cut. Even the fact are unclear, with contradictory statements on both sides.

Maybe it's because I'm getting old, but I think it's annoying that I might have to leave some kind of statement that I wouldn't mind having sex, even if I was no longer capable of giving consent.

Anyone who know me, and my relationship with Mrs. B, would know that. But common sense no longer seems to count for much.

That's the problem I am having too. I don't want people abused or taken advantage of, yet I also don't want rights taken away from the elderly. We'll all be there some day right? One of the issues with this case is that it is now in the open and people who don't know the couple and the state of their marriage can make pronouncements on it. Some are doing it definitively with absolutely no intimate knowledge.