ECT Straight Talk On A Gay Wedding

[Danoh]

Pastor Kurth,
Berean Searchlight,
January 2012, p. 25.

“Four years ago we learned that our son is a homosexual. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship. But recently he married his partner, and we declined his invitation to the wedding because we thought it would be like giving our blessing. Were we wrong for not going?”

While these are matters of personal conviction, we believe your decision to agree to disagree and maintain a relationship with your son was a good choice. We also believe that declining the wedding invitation was the right thing to do.

If you have a daughter who knows you disagree with abortion, it would not be fair for her to ask you go with her to an abortion clinic for a procedure just to show her your love and support. If your sister knows you don’t believe in women pastors, she can’t expect you to go to her ordination just to show your love and support. If your father knows you don’t believe in doctor-assisted suicide, it is not fair for him to ask you to sit by his bedside to watch him end his life so as to show your love and support. If your niece knows you don’t believe in polygamy, she can’t expect you to attend as she marries a married man. The Bible has something to say about each of these issues, so in each case, it is not fair for your loved one to ask you to choose between your faith and your family.

You might ask your son if he would accompany you to an anti-gay rights rally. You could explain that he would not have to participate, just attend. This might help him understand the position in which he put you.

When asked to choose between faith and family, we must choose our faith (Deut. 33:9). When Paul instructed the Corinthians to disfellowship a man living in incest (I Cor. 5), any family the man might have had would have had to choose faith over family. Matthew 10:34-37 may have the Tribulation in view, but the principle has an application today.

If your son no longer wishes to have a relationship with you for declining his invitation, this is on him, not on you. Four years ago you chose to continue to have a relationship with him when he made a choice of which you did not approve. Now that you have made a choice of which he does not approve, we believe he should do the same.

 

[aCultureWarrior]

Good analogies. It's refreshing in this day and age to read where a pastor hasn't sold out God just so that he could appease a family member; unfortunately it's (selling out God by men of faith) is happening way too often.

 

[Lon]

1Co 6:13 "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
1Co 6:14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
1Co 6:15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
1Co 6:16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
1Co 6:17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
1Co 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Co 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
1Co 6:20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

 

[revpete]

I recently came across a similar situation. Someone from our assembly has been invited to her gay sister's wedding. When she asked me for advice she told me that her sister knew her views but wanted her to attend anyway. I explained that if her sister knew that she did not agree, if she went she would be showing her love and support and if she refused she would be standing on the faith her sister knew she had. I explained that it was her choice and I could not make it for her and I would not judge her whatever she decided to do.

If I were in her position I would not attend although I did not tell her this. Not to attend would be my choice. There are things in scripture which are left up to the individuals conscience before The Lord. The mistake IMO is that too many believers try to force their views on others when it is a matter between them and God.

Did Jesus condemn same sex marriage? No! Did He condone it? No! However, every time Jesus spoke about marriage He described it as being instituted by God and as a holy union between a man and a woman. That settles it for me.

Blessings: Pete

 

[ok doser]

Pastor Kurth,
Berean Searchlight,
January 2012, p. 25.

“Four years ago we learned that our son is a homosexual. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship.

can anybody imagine this if read as:

"Four years ago we learned that our son is a pedophile. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship"

or

“Four years ago we learned that our son is a serial adulterer. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship"

or

"Four years ago we learned that our son is a pornographer. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship" ????



but now, society has gotten so used to the concept of homosexuality being "normal" or "a lifestyle choice" that even supposed men of God see it as something other than what it is


"pastor" kurth should be ashamed of himself

 

[Interplanner]

can anybody imagine this if read as:

"Four years ago we learned that our son is a pedophile. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship"

or

“Four years ago we learned that our son is a serial adulterer. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship"

or

"Four years ago we learned that our son is a pornographer. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship" ????



but now, society has gotten so used to the concept of homosexuality being "normal" or "a lifestyle choice" that even supposed men of God see it as something other than what it is


"pastor" kurth should be ashamed of himself

Supposed? Who is doing the supposing and what are they supposing?

 

[Town Heretic]

Pastor Kurth,
Berean Searchlight,
January 2012, p. 25.

“Four years ago we learned that our son is a homosexual. We agreed to disagree and to continue our relationship. But recently he married his partner, and we declined his invitation to the wedding because we thought it would be like giving our blessing. Were we wrong for not going?”

No. Especially not as a spiritual leader. Jesus went out among sinners and people of ill repute in his day, but never to join in with them, only to minister the truth to them.

Hopefully this minister's son asked out of love, without expectation and understanding the pastor's quandary and hopefully the pastor's decision was communicated in the same spirit.

While these are matters of personal conviction, we believe your decision to agree to disagree and maintain a relationship with your son was a good choice. We also believe that declining the wedding invitation was the right thing to do.

Agreed on every point except the pluralization. We?

If you have a daughter who knows you disagree with abortion, it would not be fair for her to ask you go with her to an abortion clinic for a procedure just to show her your love and support...The Bible has something to say about each of these issues, so in each case, it is not fair for your loved one to ask you to choose between your faith and your family.

Seems reasonable.

You might ask your son if he would accompany you to an anti-gay rights rally. You could explain that he would not have to participate, just attend. This might help him understand the position in which he put you.

That...not so much. He wasn't asking his father to a ceremony to denounce the church and Christendom, which would be the closer parallel. I imagine the pastor's son had already attended a service where the subject of homosexuality was addressed and had read the Bible on the subject, so a want of understanding of that degree of discomfort likely wasn't a lesson he needed.

When asked to choose between faith and family, we must choose our faith...

Thankfully there's rarely reason for it to come to that.

If your son no longer wishes to have a relationship with you for declining his invitation, this is on him, not on you.

Agreed. The son is harming himself and the father, especially because he loves him, can't assist him in furthering the harm.