Should It Be Lawful For Minors To Be Married With Parental Consent?

[Arthur Brain]

Protecting the child includes protecting a young daughter from marriage at too young an age.

:thumb:

 

[annabenedetti]

I don't really have a problem with parents voicing their opinion and even denying their child's decision for a marital partner.

Re: parental control, I was thinking more along the lines of the "marry this person before you mess up" kind of control rather than the "wait until you're 18" kind of control.

I DO have a problem with parents who push their children to get married for the sole purpose of alleviating their own embarrassment over an unplanned pregnancy. Their child should be their FIRST priority as compared to fretting over what the neighbors will think.

Yes. And that does happen.

 

[Rusha]

Re: parental control, I was thinking more along the lines of the "marry this person before you mess up" kind of control rather than the "wait until you're 18" kind of control..

I think urging and encouraging a teen to marry someone based on a parent's approval as compared to the teens love and commitment to someone is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[genuineoriginal]

Unless the parent can be shown to be unfit, I think the parent should be allowed to override the decision of their underage child to marry. That would include all marriages involving teens, whether the couple is gay or straight. Make em wait.

You assume that the only choice the parent has is in approving or disapproving of the choice of the child and that the parents are incapable of making the choice for their children.
Many cultures have been very successful at having the decision taken away from the children and given to those that have the experience to know who would make a better spouse for their children.
When the parents make the match, why make them wait?
If the children wait, then the hormones that cause them to make emotional instead of rational decisions will lead them into the very poor decisions you want to shelter them from making.

Pffftttt ... that's not what I was suggesting, but you already knew that. Relying on someone else is a perk, not a reality. Since you are against any type of welfare, it would make sense that you would encourage teens to get as much education including on the job training as they are able. No one should ever be in situation where they lose their spouse (to death or other circumstances) and find themselves without adequate shelter or finances.

We have taken away the protections afforded by society by claiming that everyone has to be self-sufficient.
In successful cultures, the extended family was always there for support, and that included supporting teenagers in marriages arraigned by the parents.

 

[genuineoriginal]

I DO have a problem with parents who push their children to get married for the sole purpose of alleviating their own embarrassment over an unplanned pregnancy.

Marriage is a societal institution that provides support for pregnant women and children by ensuring that there is a husband to support them.
It is better for the teenagers to be married before having sex than after one of them gets pregnant.

 

[Rusha]

You assume that the only choice the parent has is in approving or disapproving of the choice of the child and that the parents are incapable of making the choice for their children.

Yes. I. Do. Outside of the need to control, there is no good reason for a parent to decide who their child WILL marry. Perhaps the child wishes to remain single. :think:

Many cultures have been very successful at having the decision taken away from the children and given to those that have the experience to know who would make a better spouse for their children.
When the parents make the match, why make them wait?

Because the parents are not the one's who will be stuck with their decision.

If the children wait, then the hormones that cause them to make emotional instead of rational decisions will lead them into the very poor decisions you want to shelter them from making.

OR if the parent hooks them up with someone they have no interest in, they will most likely divorce, cheat on them OR just live in a miserable life as well as any children from the union living in their misery ...

We have taken away the protections afforded by society by claiming that everyone has to be self-sufficient.
In successful cultures, the extended family was always there for support, and that included supporting teenagers in marriages arraigned by the parents.

Oh ... and when the marriage fails OR both teens are miserable, how would the parents atone for the mess that THEY created?

 

[aCultureWarrior]

aCW, this is just some garbled loony scenario that you've concocted in that fevered cabbage that rattles around inside your head.

:kookoo:

The LGBTQueer movement has gone to great measures (beat up people, threatened their lives, had them fired or sued, damaged private property, etc. etc. etc.) to get where they are with marriage equality today. By leaving two boyz that want to share their (shortened) lives together out of the equation, it shows that you're a homophobic Nazi racist theocratic bigot.

Shame on you Arthurrrrrr.

 

[Rusha]

Marriage is a societal institution that provides support for pregnant women and children by ensuring that there is a husband to support them.

Except ... that doesn't happen. Not all marriages produce children ... not all couples wish to have children.

It is better for the teenagers to be married before having sex than after one of them gets pregnant.

That would be true for ANY couple regardless of age ... however, it isn't the reality.

 

[Rusha]

The LGBTQueer movement has gone to great measures (beat up people, threatened their lives, had them fired or sued, damaged private property, etc. etc. etc.) to get where they are with marriage equality today. By leaving two boyz that want to share their (shortened) lives together out of the equation, it shows that you're a homophobic Nazi racist theocratic bigot.

Shame on you Arthurrrrrr.

lain: This is not another one of your "homosexuals are icky" threads, ACW. This is about teen marriage. Focccusssss.

 

[annabenedetti]

I think urging and encouraging a teen to marry someone based on a parent's approval as compared to the teens love and commitment to someone is a disaster waiting to happen.

Exactly.

 

[annabenedetti]

Marriage is a societal institution that provides support for pregnant women and children by ensuring that there is a husband to support them.
It is better for the teenagers to be married before having sex than after one of them gets pregnant.

And there it is. When the parent decides it's better and pushes the marriage - that's the control I was talking about.

 

[annabenedetti]

The LGBTQueer movement has gone to great measures (beat up people, threatened their lives, had them fired or sued, damaged private property, etc. etc. etc.) to get where they are with marriage equality today. By leaving two boyz that want to share their (shortened) lives together out of the equation, it shows that you're a homophobic Nazi racist theocratic bigot.

Shame on you Arthurrrrrr.

Do you ever stop thinking about homosexuality, aCW?

 

[Rusha]

And there it is. When the parent decides it's better and pushes the marriage - that's the control I was talking about.

Because we all know that it's the parents who have to wake up every morning to the face attached to the person they forced their teen to marry ...

What a way to start each and every day.. "Morning. lain: Even though you make me ill, mom and dad still love you!"

 

[aCultureWarrior]

lain: This is not another one of your "homosexuals are icky" threads, ACW. This is about teen marriage. Focccusssss.

Yes, and the two teens boys want to 'marry'. Gay teen marriage is something that very well might keep homosexuals living much longer than they normally do Sandy, as you'd told me dozens of times that monogamous homosexual relationships are pretty much disease free.

 

[aCultureWarrior]

Do you ever stop thinking about homosexuality, aCW?

When surrounded by...I'll go back to my thread and have some fun with you and Arthurrrrrr.

 

[genuineoriginal]

Yes. I. Do. Outside of the need to control, there is no good reason for a parent to decide who their child WILL marry. Perhaps the child wishes to remain single. :think:

The child's "wishes" have nothing to do with it.

Because the parents are not the one's who will be stuck with their decision.

Sure they will, unless you want the parents to have no contact with their children after their children get married.

OR if the parent hooks them up with someone they have no interest in, they will most likely divorce, cheat on them OR just live in a miserable life as well as any children from the union living in their misery ...

Without a society that actually supports marriage, these things will happen anyway, regardless of the age or who chooses the spouse.
Just look at America, and you will find that most marriages are just like you describe, and most of those marriages have spouses that chose each other.

Oh ... and when the marriage fails OR both teens are miserable, how would the parents atone for the mess that THEY created?

Why would you believe that the marriage will fail and the couple be miserable only if the parents are the ones that choose the couple?
Marriages fail because of the people in the marriage and more marriages fail when the couple chooses who they marry for themselves.
People who are miserable in their marriages are miserable because they spend more time making themselves miserable than they do making themselves happy in their marriage.

 

[Rusha]

Yes, and the two teens boys want to 'marry'.

And two teen girls. And two heterosexual teens.

Gay teen marriage is something that very well might keep homosexuals living much longer than they normally do Sandy, as you'd told me dozens of times that monogamous homosexual relationships are pretty much disease free.

Oh. I see. Why don't you start your own thread to discuss the dangers of monogamy?

 

[annabenedetti]

And two teen girls. And two heterosexual teens.



Oh. I see. Why don't you start your own thread to discuss the dangers of monogamy?

:chuckle:

 

[annabenedetti]

Yes. I. Do. Outside of the need to control, there is no good reason for a parent to decide who their child WILL marry. Perhaps the child wishes to remain single. :think:

The child's "wishes" have nothing to do with it.

And there it is again...

 

[Rusha]

The child's "wishes" have nothing to do with it.

Of course they do ... unless of course, you would be willing to allow someone else to decide who you MUST be married to.

Sure they will, unless you want the parents to have no contact with their children after their children get married.

IF the parents desire to pawn their child off is responsible for their child's misery, it would be understandable for their child to *divorce* his/her parents after making such an self-serving, egomaniacal decision on their *behalf*.

Without a society that actually supports marriage, these things will happen anyway, regardless of the age or who chooses the spouse.

Supporting marriage does not equate controlling your child's ability to choose who they love ... as compared as who you find convenient for them.

Just look at America, and you will find that most marriages are just like you describe, and most of those marriages have spouses that chose each other.

Which only means the person making THE decision has chosen to live with the consequences. If, OTOH, the parents were to make the decision with no regards to their child's wishes, anything that happens to their child during the course of the marriage would be their fault. You can instruct them to make good choices. IF they fail, it's their failure. If, OTOH, you make the choice for them, it's your failure.

Why would you believe that the marriage will fail and the couple be miserable only if the parents are the ones that choose the couple?

Because marriage ... is a ... commitment ... between the two individuals marrying. Not the parents. Also, anyone demanding to make that choice for their child would be doing so for their own self-interest rather than actually wanting the best for their child.

Marriages fail because of the people in the marriage and more marriages fail when the couple chooses who they marry for themselves.

Uh huh ... goodness forbid that a couple choose to marry out of love instead the selfish motivations of the parents.

People who are miserable in their marriages are miserable because they spend more time making themselves miserable than they do making themselves happy in their marriage.

You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. Marriages should be based on mutual love, respect and commitment to the only two people involved in the union: those who are marrying.