Real Sorceror's POTD - 8/27

Not open for further replies.

Real Sorceror

New member
Imagine said:
I think if the child can't talk to their parents because of legitimate fears of abuse then that is one thing. However, I still believe that a parent has the right to know information about their child.
Part of me wants to say that any parent whose child doesn't feel safe coming to them for any reason to discuss an issue has lost the right to know about that issue in their child's life. Another part of me is telling me that because of my emotions on this issue I am oversimplifying a complex issue.
What?? Parents always have a right to know what is going on with their child. It is the parents responsibility to take care of, guide, nurture, feed, clothe and protect their child. With that responsibility comes the right to have knowledge of issues, behaviors and problems, whether good or bad, that their child is going through. How else can a parent protect (and help) them?
On the one hand I agree with you and on the other I think you are oversimplifying. Of course as a loving parent you want to know anything and everything significant in the life of your children so you can protect and and guide them. On the other hand if for whatever reason your child doesn't feel safe or ready to discuss something with you? Would you rather they internalize it with all the problems that can cause, or would you rather they have someone they can go to in confidence to discuss it until they are ready to bring it to you? Of course this then opens up the can of worms of what constitutes something so serious it needs to be disclosed.
For those who say they can't/couldn't talk to their parents and so a child shouldn't have to talk to you, what would you do if you found out that your child didn't tell you something that you felt was important and that you should have known about? Tell them it's ok to not discuss problems with you? That it's ok to not trust you?
Quite frankly if I ever have kids I hope not to repeat the errors of my father and leave my kids feeling they can't talk to me. However if that happened the person I would be mad at would be me and I would try to address whatever in my relationship with them led them to feel they couldn't talk to me. Meanwhile I would hope I had raised them well enough that they could confide in someone appropriate (In my case it was a mature Christian friend & a Youth Pastor).
I tell my son on a regular basis that he can trust me, come to me with anything, and be honest about things no matter what. Yes, there will always be a chance of me being angry or upset, but that will never change the fact that I love him with all my heart and will do anything and everything in my power to help him through his struggle rather than be against him.
I would kill to have that kind of relationship with my father but I'm not as blessed as your son. Even now at 28 if I do or say anything that he disagrees with the kindest thing my dad will say about it is that I am an idiot(and that is if we are in public). If he knew that I had been involved in homosexuality the best response I could hope for would be to be disowned at worst he might kill me.
It's a parent's right and responsibility to know what is going on with their child.
I would say it is a parents responsibility and privilege because a right is inherent and irrevocable and as far as I am concerned there are parents who have no business knowing about their kids lives. And a parent can lose the privilege of knowing about their child's life by their actions.
It is a child's right and privilege to have parents know what is going on with them.
It is a child's inalienable irrevocable RIGHT to have loving, supportive parents who know what is going on with them because they are involved and like you keep the lines of communication open. A parent who deprives a child of this right IMO loses the privilege of knowing what is going on and must undo the damage to regain that privilege so they can properly carry out their responsibilities.
This post of the goes to EMETH. :first:
Up until a few days ago, I had no idea that he and I actuallu see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues related to parenting and children's rights. He also has good taste in anime.

Nick M

Black Rifles Matter
Hall of Fame
Part of me wants to say

On the one hand I agree with you and on the other I think you are oversimplifying

On the other hand if for whatever reason


See what happens without absolutes...
Not open for further replies.