I’m from Denver, so I’m going to use Denver radio as my baseline example. Starting low on the dial, we have classical radio, for when I want to fall asleep at the wheel, crash into a tree, be thrown through the windshield and fly through the back window of a schoolbus, terrifying and permanently scarring the children inside said bus. Really though, there is so much good classical music out there, and it’s like this public radio garbage finds only the most monotonous and boring classical stuff out there. Try a little harder!
That brings us to the the public talk radio stations. I'd rather feed myself to dolphins than listen to public radio. People with nothing to say who think that they do in fact have something to say. Scanning forward, we have a mix of country, pop and hip hop. Well there’s a bad trio. Real bad. Starting with country, I just don’t understand it. Singers with no talent, singing about absolutely nothing. It’s not just that they have no talent, it’s also that they are quite simply awful. I mean, terrible. Just terrible. Screeching losers seems a fitting description for country singers. I shutter to think what people who listen to country are like. What happened to country anyway? Going back to guys like Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings, it’s hard to tell how it got so bad (but I digress).
Moving forward to pop, 93.3 being a great example of the type of music I’m talking about, this is gayness at its finest. Great waves of gayness start coming out of the speakers when the radio passes by this station. It’s the epitome of trendy garbage that zombies, high school kids, and generally bad people listen to. Never before have I heard such whiney and vomit inducing music. Owl City? Really? Really? Since when did it get cool for dudes to sound like chicks?
Hip hop. Ah yes. Hip hop. Not even sure I should get into this one. More than hip hop, however I’d like to discuss R&B. That stands for, as I’m sure we all know, Queer. Anyone can talk into a voice distorter. It takes a certain type of imbecile to think it sounds good.
Moving up the dial, there’s the rock station 106.7 featuring neanderthal DJ Uncle Nasty. KBPI actually plays some pretty good music, but also plays some pretty awful music. One second you’re jamming to Metallica and the next it’s Nickelback. What a joke. (For sake of the argument, I'd like to point out Nickelback’s lead singer’s hair.)
There are a few classic rocks stations and some other random stuff I don’t have much of an opinion on (take it or leave it), but I’d like to get to the stations I intentionally skipped over:
The Christian stations, KLove, 89.7, etc. How should I put this? Christianity has failed music. It has crumbled and fallen apart and retreated from music. I don’t mean that Christian music doesn’t exist, I mean that it (if I may use the term) sucks.
Sometimes I just laugh and laugh as the radio scan setting stops at a Christian station. It’s just comical. Cliched, repetitive, nonsensical garbage. Looking back at history, Christians often led the way in their fields: science, art and music to name a few. Now look at us. We have what? Absolutely nothing, it's all marginalized swill. That’s Christian music. If the Christians can’t come up with good music, then what can I expect from the world? The sad part is that the world’s music is often better than Christian music.
Klovey music might even have a good message sometimes, but it’s usually a very simple, theologically incorrect, feel good type of message that ultimately amounts to nothing except making a Christian feel a little better about his apathetic, un-affecting life. Even the better popular Christian bands can’t seem to find inspiration to write good music. Christian radio is mainly just a pretend spiritual show. I don't remember the last time I heard a song on a Christian radio station and thought to myself, "That was sincere." (Not that I usually think like that; that seems a little weird. Again, I digress)
Christians need to start thinking about music that sounds good and has real meaning. I believe if we had popular Christian bands singing about real things, not recycled mantra, Christianity wouldn’t be so marginalized.
I feel like Christian musicians have failed a calling to use their skills to create a new song, to lead the way in the culture. If Christians started thinking like Christian composers from history whose works are still remembered today as great advancements in music, we would have works of art. Art that brings glory to God and has real meaning and cultural impact, not music that is brushed over and forgotten because it is really really lame.
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