Why men won't marry you

[Rusha]

We were not intellectually compatible.

Oh, you saw her as being too intellectually challenged to be your wife? IF that is the case, it says a lot more about you than her.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Oh, you saw her as being too intellectually challenged to be your wife?

:doh:

If you really want to spin it that way you are destroying your previous argument that he wanted an age advantage to allow for manipulation.

According to you, don't older men supposedly marry younger women because they can manipulate them?

Wouldn't that require a docile, less intelligent young female in order to not backfire hideously?

 

[Rusha]

:doh:

If you really want to spin it that way you are destroying your previous argument that he wanted an age advantage to allow for manipulation.

Spin WHAT? I asked a simple question based on his statement. BTW, HE wasn't old OR older back then. He was still young ... so there is no reason for you to be kicking up such a fuss.

According to you, don't older men supposedly marry younger women because they can manipulate them?

Different conversation and situation. Keep up and try to stay focused.

Wouldn't that require a docile, less intelligent young female in order to not backfire hideously?

Uh huh. For OLDER men. Going by his prior claims, he was still young himself. So again, what are you babbling on about?

Oh ... will you discussing what attitude lead to divorce in your husband's first marriage?

We were not intellectually compatible.

That is extremely petty and small minded on the part of whichever one of you decided you were intellectually superior.

 

[Yorzhik]

People have all sorts of advantages. I wasn't aware of your position on it but if you think men are inherently more intelligent I'd say you're running with out of date data and are wrong on the count.

They aren't inherently more intelligent per se, but they have to be more intelligent to attract women. Women don't need to be more intelligent than men to attract a man. So humans being what they are, they tend to take the shorter route to what they want when available. And, no, my data isn't out of date.

 

[Yorzhik]

But those married in 2000s? Much, much lower. The trend is to the good. Why? Possibly because people are marrying later and making more mature decisions. Partly because some of those who married for the wrong reasons aren't bothering, which is still better for the institution.

With 70% of men between the ages of 20 and 34 not bothering to marry at all. The reasons they give are various ways of saying women aren't worth it. or in the form of a question; who wants to marry a slut? And with 80% of women being sexually active (those that admit it) by the time they reach college, the marriages that are happening could very well be the worthy women... who actually want to get married and carry the traits conducive to a lasting marriage. The rest continue to prefer the hook-up culture.

 

[CabinetMaker]

No. Research correlates those behaviors with higher testosterone levels. In one study men with testosterone levels one standard deviation above mean were 43% more likely to divorce. There is evidence linking gifted levels of intelligence to prenatal exposure to higher levels of testosterone, which also increases connections in the right pre-frontal cortex. So the highly intelligent man whose pre-frontal cortex matured faster than normal actually has a greater chance of being divorced, engaging infidelity and being abusive.

So now women should look for men of average intelligence who matured slowly.

Exactly what kind of tests did you and 1PM give each other? Written? Interviews with doctors? Panel of family and friends? Match maker? What kind of tests do propose for people to take before they determine who they should marry?

 

[elohiym]

Oh, you saw her as being too intellectually challenged to be your wife?

Intellectual incompatibility does not mean intellectually challenged, though I'm not saying she wasn't. However, she was a professional, a nurse specifically. Smart enough for that. We were intellectually incompatible because we developed different world-views.

 

[Eeset]

In my experience men who are aroused seldom think rationally. Therefore discussing intellectual compatibility in marriage makes little sense.

 

[BOLCATS]

Intellectual incompatibility does not mean intellectually challenged, though I'm not saying she wasn't. However, she was a professional, a nurse specifically. Smart enough for that. We were intellectually incompatible because we developed different world-views.

The worldview of a spouse is extremely important. I should have mentioned that in my list earlier. Rusha could be extremely smart and think I'm the greatest thing to grace this planet with my presence and have looks that could stop a clock......I would never date her, much less marry her. Our worldviews are highly incompatible.

 

[elohiym]

So now women should look for men of average intelligence who matured slowly.

Would it reduce the divorce rate based on the facts I presented?

When women are fertile they look for the more masculine-looking males, which are the males producing more testosterone. There is a risk benefit analysis for the woman that is influenced by social and environmental factors. Sometimes a hunk is all that will do; those are the best genetics after all.

Exactly what kind of tests did you and 1PM give each other? Written? Interviews with doctors? Panel of family and friends? Match maker? What kind of tests do propose for people to take before they determine who they should marry?

When you tell me the qualifications for marriage, I'll explain how to test, if you can't figure it out yourself. You should have had some qualifications for marriage in mind before you started arguing about the pre-frontal cortex being relevant, no?

 

[elohiym]

How many women do you have, and are they all women? Just curious.

You and the other trolls need to decide whether you want to frame me as a polygamist or a guy whose wife suggested polygamy to him but he wasn't interested. Pick.

You aren't Mormon are you....by any chance?

No. You aren't a moron are you... by any chance?

 

[truthjourney]

You and the other trolls need to decide whether you want to frame me as a polygamist or a guy whose wife suggested polygamy to him but he wasn't interested. Pick.

I'm not saying this is the case but in my understanding women don't usually make suggestions like that out of the blue. It is usually because their husband has made statements and/or otherwise given the impression that this is something that they want.

 

[elohiym]

I'm not saying this is the case but in my understanding women don't make suggestions like that out of the blue.

More trolling, or do you find the subject titillating? Your understanding is based on what evidence? My wife didn't make the suggestion out of the blue.

It is usually because their husband has made statements and/or otherwise given the impression that this is something that they want.

My wife explained herself on this thread and I explained in the 2006 thread that was quoted. If we wanted to be polygamists, we would be. Obviously I don't want to be one if I haven't become one since I made a comment in 2006 that I didn't want to be one.

 

[Arthur Brain]

With 70% of men between the ages of 20 and 34 not bothering to marry at all. The reasons they give are various ways of saying women aren't worth it. or in the form of a question; who wants to marry a slut? And with 80% of women being sexually active (those that admit it) by the time they reach college, the marriages that are happening could very well be the worthy women... who actually want to get married and carry the traits conducive to a lasting marriage. The rest continue to prefer the hook-up culture.

Where did you pull these stats from?

Never mind, I don't want to know...

lain:

 

[Arthur Brain]

They aren't inherently more intelligent per se, but they have to be more intelligent to attract women. Women don't need to be more intelligent than men to attract a man. So humans being what they are, they tend to take the shorter route to what they want when available. And, no, my data isn't out of date.

So in order for a woman to be attracted to a man he has to be more intelligent than her?

You really are a complete dingbat.

 

[Rusha]

I'm not saying this is the case but in my understanding women don't usually make suggestions like that out of the blue. It is usually because their husband has made statements and/or otherwise given the impression that this is something that they want.

Exactly right. That type of mindset is too insecure and dependent on their spouse to challenge them.

 

[Rusha]

The worldview of a spouse is extremely important. I should have mentioned that in my list earlier. Rusha could be extremely smart and think I'm the greatest thing to grace this planet with my presence and have looks that could stop a clock......I would never date her, much less marry her. Our worldviews are highly incompatible.

Oh well ... I will just have to find a way to cope with your rejection. It may be my New Year's Resolution.

Never mind. I'm over it.

 

[CabinetMaker]

Would it reduce the divorce rate based on the facts I presented?

Unknowable.

When women are fertile they look for the more masculine-looking males, which are the males producing more testosterone. There is a risk benefit analysis for the woman that is influenced by social and environmental factors. Sometimes a hunk is all that will do; those are the best genetics after all.

Are they? It would depend on how you define best, I suppose. Best looks, best strength, best brains, best compassion, best caring.

When you tell me the qualifications for marriage, I'll explain how to test, if you can't figure it out yourself. You should have had some qualifications for marriage in mind before you started arguing about the pre-frontal cortex being relevant, no?

What ever my qualifications for marriage may be, they are totally irrelevant to the question I asked you. What kinds of "tests" did you and 1PM give each other, submit to, whatever, to determine if you two met the standards you allude to here?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

women don't usually make suggestions like that out of the blue.

Why, because they are too stupid, or too jealous/insecure?

It is usually because their husband has made statements and/or otherwise given the impression that this is something that they want.

Because most women don't come up with suggestions for discussion based on Bible-reading. They wait for their husbands to announce a conclusion or make the suggestion to consider something. :dizzy:

Are you going to suggest now that Abraham was manipulating Sarah?

And if my husband manipulated me into suggesting it, why did he turn it down while remaining passionately devoted to me? He seems so content.

What would such a charade be for?

 

[Town Heretic]

That's not my conclusion. There is no commission without human procreation is my conclusion, and therefore no greater purpose and no greater work. I disagree. A new born baby and a saved adult have the same value to our Father.

That would be a bit further along the chronological line. No one, least of all me, is disputing the value of any human life. What I'm saying is the work is in the commission and that having kids isn't necessarily a part of that, though they're a blessing for those who have them.

The greater works are necessarily something other than the commission because Jesus participated in the commission and did those works but said those who followed him would do greater works than he did (Jn 14:12). He didn't have children.

He didn't have air conditioning either, but I don't think either are works.

I understand Paul to be speaking about the time of persecution he lived in.

I don't recall him putting a time limit on it, just saying it's better to marry than to burn, but beyond that, if a man is capable, better to refrain.

Believers were persecuted by Romans and unbelieving Jews. His words make sense for that time for the specific audiences he was addressing. He would have erred to generally contradict the first command to be fruitful and multiply, and many brothers and sisters, some who became preachers dedicated to the commission, would not have been born it seems.

So you see that as a command instead of a declaration of the nature provided to them. I don't, but it's an interesting and problematic context that in today's world would rather quickly lead to mass starvation and suffering, which doesn't seem in line with God's nature.

Happy Father's Day! :cheers:

Hope you and everyone here had a great one. :cheers: