I Think I am A Vessel Of Wrath with no Hope No Matter What I Do

Lowly one

New member
I would do it but it won’t let me write the web people and ask if I can personal message people. Would u mind emailing them and asking them? Or tell me how please?
 

Lowly one

New member
Lots of people around the world last years have gotten dreams visions about endtimes like God said in Joel I think. The seen numbers repeatedly. Well I started seeing :44 different times. When others see those numbers they would have a good feeling in their spirit. Because I have such fear fight flight going on all the time I would feel scared or not know. But in that article it talks about those who tried to steal the inheritance. Very scary. Like I have always pursued God since when I went to church and have had millions of ?s with my over analytical mind
 

Lowly one

New member
But with God I’ve learned it’s by the spirit and heart not mind. Faith. It’s hard cause this anxiety is so strong since birth it feels u r in danger no matter what. I try to fight it. It’s like I may have been programmed this way for a reason. It’s taken so much just to endure through the days.
 

God's Truth

New member
Lots of people around the world last years have gotten dreams visions about endtimes like God said in Joel I think. The seen numbers repeatedly. Well I started seeing :44 different times. When others see those numbers they would have a good feeling in their spirit. Because I have such fear fight flight going on all the time I would feel scared or not know. But in that article it talks about those who tried to steal the inheritance. Very scary. Like I have always pursued God since when I went to church and have had millions of ?s with my over analytical mind

That is not from God. Why are you reading such things? You should repent of that now.
 

God's Truth

New member
But with God I’ve learned it’s by the spirit and heart not mind.

That is not from God either, for the Bible says heart and mind.

You should repent of everything you think you know. Start all over. Resign yourself to knowing nothing. Get Jesus' teachings in the Bible and do what Jesus says to do to get saved.
Faith. It’s hard cause this anxiety is so strong since birth it feels u r in danger no matter what. I try to fight it. It’s like I may have been programmed this way for a reason. It’s taken so much just to endure through the days.

To fear and not trust God is also sin.
 

God's Truth

New member
Yes the struggle is this anxiety disorder
Since I was a kid it’s so brutal. Trusting God is the number one thing I realize
Why u say dreams and visions are not from God? That’s in the Bible. Do u believe we are in the endtimes?

It is understandable to me when you say you don't think God loves you or wants you; and it is understandable to me about OCD and fear.

I thought God didn't love or want me. One day I said to God that I am going to do everything Jesus says God's children do, so that God might allow me to be grouped in with His children,

Start with Jesus' teachings in the four Gospel accounts. Jesus says repent of your sins. Start with that. Even repent for believing things taught by men and women that might not be true.

Every time you hear Satan in your head saying God doesn't love you or want you, say to yourself in your head, "Get away Satan, in Jesus' name." Say it every time even if you have to say it a hundred times a day. It will get better.

Keep reading what Jesus says to do. He says to forgive all those who sinned against you. You don't have to go looking for these people and tell them you forgive them, you do have to forgive them in your heart and mind, even if they don't deserve it.

If you come across something that Jesus says and it seems hard, do it anyway, and Jesus will give you understanding. For instance when Jesus says to hate your father and mother and everyone. Jesus wants you to put him above everyone. I remember thinking at one time that if people I love go to Hell, then maybe I would just go there too. You can't think like that.

If you read where Jesus says something though that sounds really burdensome, then don't do it, because it means it is not for you. For instance, when Jesus walked the earth, people were expected to be traveling ministers with him to help lay the foundation. You aren't told to do that.

As for you going to sites and reading what people say about numbers, it is not what you need to read about. How is that helping you for salvation? You are trying to live another person's ideas about their dreams?

As for you thinking speaking in tongues and some of the other things are still done today, you can learn more about that later and how it is no more. Some things were during the foundation and to the apostles and first Christians.

So back to repenting of your sins. Are you doing what you can to stop sinning? Do you understand what your sins have been in your life? Have you stopped making excuses for why you sin?
 

7djengo7

This space intentionally left blank
My whole life I have been afflicted and frankly tortured. Won’t go into the illnesses but what they produced was torturous anxiety and OCD. Feeling out of control needing to control. Chronic fatigued as kid til now. Tortured by people and I had no strength, just had to take it. 20 yrs old had reaction to drug that caused further torture for past 15 years barely hangin on no fun or quality of life. Basically hanging on from FEAR of God cause I could have killed myself but went to hell I feared. Was having hope God had plan for me in endtimes, but then another reaction to drug just as I was beginning to feel a little better that has lasted months and tortured more and suicidal. I believe God has revealed to me I am judged and tho I believe in Jesus I have not been renewed regenerated by the spirit. He has sustained me like the Bible says but I have been tortured the entire time. Because of sickness I appear meek and kind but in my heart I think I am wicked possibly. I have intrusive thoughts and when I try to think of Jesus bad stuff comes in. All my life my mind has been chemical soup of craziness I haven’t gotten a handle on. EVERYTHING in this world and life is nothing without having Jesus. I know that in mind but it’s like my heart is hard from pain and I dunno. I’ve not been smart enough to discern it and tell the difference cause I know not what a pure heart feels like. I am so willing to repent but I can’t make Jesus give me his spirit. Nothing is worse than this absolutely nothing. That God hates me and I am all paranoid and scared of Him even tho I don’t want to be. It’s just always been that way. And self preservation cause my health and body felt so vulnerable from illness. Most don’t know of God but to know and know He hates you. The God of love. I was always told but I never felt it. Like upside down.

From which Bible passage(s) do you imagine you have learned that you are a "vessel of wrath"?

From which Bible passage(s) do you imagine you have learned that God hates you, that God does not love you, that God will never love you?

In which Bible passage(s) do you imagine God has revealed to you that you are "judged"?
 

Lowly one

New member
The circumstances of torture. How this anxiety disorder from birth makes it almost impossible to have faith. It’s telling me I’m in danger all the time fight or flight. Paranoid of danger. Cause my body is so vulnerable and can’t handle stress. Terrified of God cause of things the Bible says. And I have not been able to have the resources or help to get better. Like it’s supposed to be this ways. I want nothing more than faith. I think even in the Bible god says he gives the faith. Faith I realize is the best thing. To have confidence in god knowing with all knowing he loves u and u r fine. I’ve strived. Both my parents had the same last name. Not incest but u don’t see that. And there has been nothing but chaos and destruction. Like the fullness of sins both sides came on me. I try to repent and confess but the spirit of God has to change me. It’s all been in my flesh. I can’t will it the Bible says. It’s all grace from God. Please pray for me
 

Lowly one

New member
GODS TRUTH

thank you for your response and understanding. People only have their own experiences to fall back on or understand others. It’s been difficult with all thats gone on with me. I don’t mean to complain although the pain and terror of things that have happened are so hard to deal with alone and never talk about. Did or do u have an anxiety disorder?

I know the only thing that matters is faith right now. Somehow overcoming a lifetime of what I’ve described. Faith is only thing that pleases God. But also I realize I cannot do it myself. I need Jesus. Like in everyway.

with sin years ago I committed myself against sin. To obey. Stopped porn. Fought my mind to quit lusting or imagining. Stopped cussing. Tried my best to forgive. I mean I have tried. But it’s in my own strength I realize. My heart inside may still be numb and hard. I need the spirit of God and with that I would know I believe.

will u explain how u understand the burdensome things and when not to do those. When I would read bible cause I’m akready so stressed and afflicted at home in my room it would burden me so Much cause I would think how am I gonna do those things.
 

God's Truth

New member
GODS TRUTH

thank you for your response and understanding. People only have their own experiences to fall back on or understand others. It’s been difficult with all thats gone on with me. I don’t mean to complain although the pain and terror of things that have happened are so hard to deal with alone and never talk about. Did or do u have an anxiety disorder?
I had OCD, and Jesus took it from me miraculously sometime after he saved me, which was also in a miraculous way. Maybe I will finally give my testimony and if anyone wants to read it they can. It has been something I don't want to share publicly because of the cruel people here, they will stomp on it, and, even my sharing the OCD thing years ago I was made fun of on this site by other members and no one complained and stopped it. As long as you are still having trouble knowing God, no one will make fun of you, it is because I have God's Truth that I intimidate people, since the truth shows others when they are in the wrong, they would rather keep their false teachings than have God's Truth and know Him better.
I know the only thing that matters is faith right now.
No, faith alone is not the only thing that matters. Faith with right action is what matters. What do you have to have faith about? You have to have faith that when you repent of your sins, your sins are forgiven through the blood of Christ who lives to intercede for you.
You sound as if you are living your ideas about Jesus according to false teachers. Tell me, how do you get that faith is the only thing that matters? What about you having to repent of your sins and then believe he will wash you clean? What about after you do that, you call on his name to help you, to save you?
To me you sound a lot like my case when Jesus finally saved me and gave me his Spirit. It is like God knows you want His Truth and not some denomination's truth, yet, you are still hanging onto the teachings of denominations when you say faith is the only thing that matters. Faith alone without right action is dead and cannot save. That is what the Bible says.
Somehow overcoming a lifetime of what I’ve described. Faith is only thing that pleases God. But also I realize I cannot do it myself. I need Jesus. Like in everyway.

with sin years ago I committed myself against sin. To obey. Stopped porn. Fought my mind to quit lusting or imagining. Stopped cussing. Tried my best to forgive. I mean I have tried. But it’s in my own strength I realize. My heart inside may still be numb and hard.
Forgiving others is one of the things you can do while not moving a muscle. You just have to do it, or the Father won't forgive you. That is what the scripture says plainly. Being saved is entering another realm, the spiritual realm. You won't be able to enter the spiritual realm of Christ if you aren't humble and have forgiven all those who have done you wrong.
I need the spirit of God and with that I would know I believe.
After we do every thing we can do to do what Jesus says, then call on him for help. Jesus will give you his Spirit.
It is good that you have obeyed in so many ways though. That means a lot to God.

will u explain how u understand the burdensome things and when not to do those. When I would read bible cause I’m akready so stressed and afflicted at home in my room it would burden me so Much cause I would think how am I gonna do those things.

I will try to explain those things. For instance, everything that Jesus tells is to do can be done right where we are without moving a muscle. Once you start thinking you have to sell everything you have and become a traveling minister, then you know you are getting into burdensome things that you aren't asked to do.
I hope this helps. Speak to God aloud with your mouth.
God knows all things and you are to know in your heart and mind that you will never ever give up searching for Him, even if it takes forever.
 

oatmeal

Well-known member
My whole life I have been afflicted and frankly tortured. Won’t go into the illnesses but what they produced was torturous anxiety and OCD. Feeling out of control needing to control. Chronic fatigued as kid til now. Tortured by people and I had no strength, just had to take it. 20 yrs old had reaction to drug that caused further torture for past 15 years barely hangin on no fun or quality of life. Basically hanging on from FEAR of God cause I could have killed myself but went to hell I feared. Was having hope God had plan for me in endtimes, but then another reaction to drug just as I was beginning to feel a little better that has lasted months and tortured more and suicidal. I believe God has revealed to me I am judged and tho I believe in Jesus I have not been renewed regenerated by the spirit. He has sustained me like the Bible says but I have been tortured the entire time. Because of sickness I appear meek and kind but in my heart I think I am wicked possibly. I have intrusive thoughts and when I try to think of Jesus bad stuff comes in. All my life my mind has been chemical soup of craziness I haven’t gotten a handle on. EVERYTHING in this world and life is nothing without having Jesus. I know that in mind but it’s like my heart is hard from pain and I dunno. I’ve not been smart enough to discern it and tell the difference cause I know not what a pure heart feels like. I am so willing to repent but I can’t make Jesus give me his spirit. Nothing is worse than this absolutely nothing. That God hates me and I am all paranoid and scared of Him even tho I don’t want to be. It’s just always been that way. And self preservation cause my health and body felt so vulnerable from illness. Most don’t know of God but to know and know He hates you. The God of love. I was always told but I never felt it. Like upside down.

Romans 10:9-10

Then come to the knowledge of the truth

I Timothy 2:4
 

beloved57

Well-known member
My whole life I have been afflicted and frankly tortured. Won’t go into the illnesses but what they produced was torturous anxiety and OCD. Feeling out of control needing to control. Chronic fatigued as kid til now. Tortured by people and I had no strength, just had to take it. 20 yrs old had reaction to drug that caused further torture for past 15 years barely hangin on no fun or quality of life. Basically hanging on from FEAR of God cause I could have killed myself but went to hell I feared. Was having hope God had plan for me in endtimes, but then another reaction to drug just as I was beginning to feel a little better that has lasted months and tortured more and suicidal. I believe God has revealed to me I am judged and tho I believe in Jesus I have not been renewed regenerated by the spirit. He has sustained me like the Bible says but I have been tortured the entire time. Because of sickness I appear meek and kind but in my heart I think I am wicked possibly. I have intrusive thoughts and when I try to think of Jesus bad stuff comes in. All my life my mind has been chemical soup of craziness I haven’t gotten a handle on. EVERYTHING in this world and life is nothing without having Jesus. I know that in mind but it’s like my heart is hard from pain and I dunno. I’ve not been smart enough to discern it and tell the difference cause I know not what a pure heart feels like. I am so willing to repent but I can’t make Jesus give me his spirit. Nothing is worse than this absolutely nothing. That God hates me and I am all paranoid and scared of Him even tho I don’t want to be. It’s just always been that way. And self preservation cause my health and body felt so vulnerable from illness. Most don’t know of God but to know and know He hates you. The God of love. I was always told but I never felt it. Like upside down.

It's possible you are a vessel of mercy !
 

Hilltrot

Well-known member
I am so willing to repent but I can’t make Jesus give me his spirit.

I'm guessing you're looking for a "born-again" experience. Basically, you're wanting to feel a substantial mental or physical experience which will make it seem like you really are "born-again" or have received Jesus's spirit.

I've heard some people say they have those and I won't deny their experience. However, that's not necessarily how it works. Not everyone gets blinded like Saul or speaks prophecy like the other Saul. For the Saul of the Old Testament, things didn't work out too well. So, I would not look for this experience.

First, I would start with reading the Bible. Pick an easy to read translation like the NIV, NLT, or Good News. Go to The Bible Project https://bibleproject.com/ for apps and videos to help you understand the Bible.

Meditating on the scripture with understanding will help you understand Jesus.

Please stop watching the other YouTube videos and links you are watching because they are truly bad.
 
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