Reading young Christian martyrs’ sacrifices for defying army conscription, I am often brought to shame. They were often tortured to death in communist and other despot ruled countries. But barely 2years after accepting Christ I went for army. There may be many excuses—unemployment, my army training background at school etc. but those are lame excuses.
I knew that Christ and my Indian non-violence heritage forbade violence. Before that I went to be Hindu monk and lived as a postulant for three years in a Hindu monastery too before coming to Christ. So applying for army commission I betrayed Christ and my conscience.
Fortunately I was offered alternate employment and there I engaged in following Christ. My spirituality and Christ realization improved gradually then. Now engaged in Muslim ministry I am far away from their martial mentality. I now reject warlike old testament and Revelation which are the roots of warlike Islam. But looking back I see how near hell I was then even after receiving Christ.
This confession I am doing for forgiveness and rectification. In this age of technology giving terrible power of destruction in individuals’ and nations hands’, practice of nonviolence and love as preached and practiced by Christ and follower Gandhi is the only way.