Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

TOL Tabloid

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • TOL Tabloid


    Here's what I heard ....



    Dear LoneStar
    We don't have Dear Abby to give out advice.
    But we do have Dear LoneStar!!!
    Send LoneStar a PM with your question, and wait for his advice to appear in the next issue.
    You can sign your own username, or sign with anonymity like:
    Lost in London
    Panicked in Pittsburgh
    Too dumb in Dallas
    etc.


    PROFILE PAGE of LoneStar
    http://www.theologyonline.com/forums/member.php?u=17212






    CHALLENGE!

    We had a similar challenge years ago. But we now have several newbies since then.

    So here's the challenge: In a one-on-one fight, which would win???
    Pegasus or Unicorn?

    VS.

    PM your answer with a reason to Tambora, and see if your analysis makes it into the next edition.








    WHO?

    Pick any TOL member and write what you would say in their TOL obituary if they were perma-banned.
    (Send all obituaries in a PM to Tambora.)









    EDITORIALS

    Got any grievances or praises you would like to air? Or just some flat out gossip heard through the grapevine?
    Send them by PM to Tambora, and perhaps it will be published. And others members of the TOL community may wish to have their response published.

    Or perhaps you have had a sighting of Elvis or have an alien abduction story to share.

    Two headed births are invited, but only with pics.

    We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
    They already know monsters exist.
    We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

  • #2

    Here's what I heard ....






    So far, the CHALLENGE section has been accepted by one of our members.


    CHALLENGE!

    We had a similar challenge years ago. But we now have several newbies since then.

    So here's the challenge: In a one-on-one fight, which would win???
    Pegasus or Unicorn?

    VS.

    Originally posted by exminister
    Pegasus is a horse god sired by the god Poseidon and was in battle.

    Unicorns are gentle creatures whose horn can purify bad water.

    Pegasus would have to win.




    Last edited by Tambora; December 2nd, 2015, 11:12 AM.

    We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
    They already know monsters exist.
    We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

    Comment


    • #3

      Here's what I heard ....











      LITERARY ANALYSIS

      Lord of the Flies.


      If you could sum up the moral of the story in one paragraph; what would you say?











      PERSONALS
      LoneStar has reported that his ADVICE column is the easiest job ever!
      Nothing to do at the moment.









      Brother, Steko, goes to the pokey every Sunday evening with his ministry to the jail birds.
      Throw a little prayer his way.








      Till next time.

      We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
      They already know monsters exist.
      We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

      Comment


      • #4


        Here's what I heard ....






        Dear LoneStar






        Originally posted by LoneStar
        Dear LoneStar,

        My husband and I get along so well. Except when it comes to the outdoor grilling. What is it about men and a grill that makes them think they are the only ones whom can do it right?

        Marinating in Minnesota


        Dear M in M,

        The grill is man territory. Back off, woman, unless you want a loogie in your next burger!



        Next.

        If you would like some advice, send your questions to LoneStar per PM.

        We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
        They already know monsters exist.
        We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

        Comment


        • #5

          Here's what I heard ....






          Dear LoneStar



          Originally posted by LoneStar
          Originally posted by Patrick Jane
          Dear LoneStar,

          I'm think of gettin a gun or two in about a year. Is it true that a shotgun requires no permit ? Also I don't know anything about guns, can I get a shotgun that has multiple shots without reloading ? Or are they all single shot ?

          I'm also getting a nice handgun, I'm a little familiar with revolvers, but want to see and handle a 9mm style hand gun with a clip. I plan on spending under 1000 for both and take the conceal carry permit classes then.*

          No hurry, reply anytime

          Mark


          Dear Mark,

          Most states don't require permits to purchase a shotgun, but some do.

          Since you are not too familiar with guns, buy new from a store. Trying to buy one from an individual or at a swap meet, garage sale, or flea market would be risky because you wouldn't know what to look for to see if the gun was in good mechanical order.

          With a shotgun, get a 12 gauge. Don't bother with a 4-10 or 20 gauge.
          Most of your buddies are probably going to have 12 gauge, so you can borrow a slug if you run out or drop your ammo in the creek. If you have a 4-10 or 20 gauge, chances will be good that your buddies won't have any extra slug for ya to borrow.

          Don't waste your money on a single shot shotgun, unless all you plan to use it for is bird hunting in your free time.
          For the difference in semi-auto and pump, I'll let Hickcok explain.

          Shotguns


          I have never owned a semi-auto shotgun. But I have shot them. I've only owned pumps.
          If you are going into battle with a shotgun in each hand, your best bet is semi-auto.
          I would prefer to have a shotgun and a rifle. That way you can gun down those close by with the shotgun, and then snag any runners with the rifle that get out of range of the shotgun.

          Spend a little extra and buy a rubber stock butt recoil pad. Your shoulder will thank you for it.

          Handguns.
          Revolvers are nice, but you have to stop and reload often.
          A 9 mil with clips is about as sweet as it gets for far less reload time
          .

          If you need advice, PM Lonestar and it will be answered in the TOL Tabloid.





          Till next time.

          We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
          They already know monsters exist.
          We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

          Comment


          • #6

            Here's what I heard ....






            Dear LoneStar



            Originally posted by LoneStar
            Originally posted by Wondering Sis
            Dear LoneStar,

            My sister was recently divorced after only two years of marriage. While I'm glad she is rid of the scumbag she had, she is already on the prowl again.
            She is dressing, shall we say, in less and less material. Her footwear has changed to spiked heals and thigh boots. I am afraid by dressing that way she might attract the wrong sort of men for her. Should I voice my concerns to her, or let her be?

            Signed,
            Wondering Sis

            Dear Wondering Sis,

            Sounds very serious and should have my full attention to assess the matter.
            Please send 8x10 glossy photos so I can make a proper anaylsis.


            Waiting with anticipation,
            LoneStar

            If you need advice, PM Lonestar and it will be answered in the TOL Tabloid.





            Till next time.



            We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
            They already know monsters exist.
            We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

            Comment


            • #7

              Here's what I heard ....









              LITERARY ANALYSIS


              Lord of the Flies.


              If you could sum up the moral of the story in one paragraph; what would you say?




              Originally posted by genuineoriginal
              Never trust children. They are only a few days away from becoming bloodthirsty savages.





              We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
              They already know monsters exist.
              We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

              Comment


              • #8

                Here's what I heard ....











                When a Man Dislikes his Country










                Till next time.

                We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
                They already know monsters exist.
                We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

                Comment

                Working...
                X