toldailytopic: Do you support corporal punishment in schools? Should schools spank di

[rocketman]

It depends. Some people consider beating with a belt or a switch as a spanking. Others think a light swat on a diapered bottom is a spanking. In my opinion anything that administers purposeful pain to a child for the sake of discipline is too much.

I disagree, God intended that we discipline our children and gave them a place receive it. My dad used to say "the fastest way to a child's brain is through his butt" and having two boys of my own I know what he meant. If applied properly it has been very effective in shaping my sons in knowing where the barriers lie, and the consequences for crossing them. Like my father I have only had to go there a few times and now they know I mean what I say. As they are getting older now corporal punishment is not needed, I have possessions and privileges to use as punishment but, thankfully my boys are well behaved being I established that early on through corporal punishment. I think your use of Psalm 23 is rather out of context anna.

 

[sky.]

It depends. Some people consider beating with a belt or a switch as a spanking. Others think a light swat on a diapered bottom is a spanking. In my opinion anything that administers purposeful pain to a child for the sake of discipline is too much.

I interpret them differently.

Here's Psalm 23, for an alternate look:

[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]'Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.' [/FONT]

I posted something on this a long time ago, about the word for rod, shebet, being used as "authority" in Proverbs. I can't find the old link, this may be the same one:

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/rodstudy.php

The "rod" is the word of God, Scripture. The staff is what a shepherd uses to "guide" or to bring one (a sheep) back to the path. A shepherd never beats the sheep. Neither of those tools are for "hitting". I just did a study on the book A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller.

 

[Christ's Word]

This is a difficult topic. Rocketman's real world experience is quite valid.

As a Psychologist, who has counseled families with discipline issues for over 30 years, I will sum my experience in just a few words.


Those parents that use corporal punishment in a swift and immediate fashion when their children are young (1 to 9 years of age), don't have to use it when the child is older than 9.

Above the age of 12, corporal punishment brings a host of other negative issues into the arena of parenting. Including deep seated resentment, hatred, and a higher probability of physical injury to the child.

Corporal punishment builds neural pathways in younger children that need to be built, the younger that happens in the child's toddler years, the better for everyone in the family, and the better for society as a whole.

I pity the mother who is raising sons that have never been properly disciplined. There will come an age when she realizes she has mad a tragic mistake.

If you want your child to be a client of mine, don't use any corporal punishment, or just overdo it and beat the child severely, either way, they will be seeing someone like me by choice later in life, or by mandate of the criminal justice system.

 

[annabenedetti]

I disagree, God intended that we discipline our children and gave them a place receive it. My dad used to say "the fastest way to a child's brain is through his butt" and having two boys of my own I know what he meant. If applied properly it has been very effective in shaping my sons in knowing where the barriers lie, and the consequences for crossing them. Like my father I have only had to go there a few times and now they know I mean what I say. As they are getting older now corporal punishment is not needed, I have possessions and privileges to use as punishment but, thankfully my boys are well behaved being I established that early on through corporal punishment. I think your use of Psalm 23 is rather out of context anna.

I realize many won't agree with me, rocketman. I'm sure you're a fine father raising fine sons.

 

[Christ's Word]

To address the op specifically. There is nothing wrong with someone other than the parent administering corporal punishment, provided they are up to speed and specifically briefed on all of the health issues of the specific child in jeopardy.

 

[sky.]

One method I used often was to make them write something. One time I made my son write "mom is always right" 100 times. My sister said that was abuse. :chuckle:

 

[rocketman]

This is a difficult topic. Rocketman's real world experience is quite valid.

As a Psychologist, who has counseled families with discipline issues for over 30 years, I will sum my experience in just a few words.


Those parents that use corporal punishment in a swift and immediate fashion when their children are young (1 to 9 years of age), don't have to use it when the child is older than 9.

Above the age of 12, corporal punishment brings a host of other negative issues into the arena of parenting. Including deep seated resentment, hatred, and a higher probability of physical injury to the child.

Corporal punishment builds neural pathways in younger children that need to be built, the younger that happens in the child's toddler years, the better for everyone in the family, and the better for society as a whole.

I pity the mother who is raising sons that have never been properly disciplined. There will come an age when she realizes she has mad a tragic mistake.

I agree with this assessment corporal punishment can be very a effective positive experience, if you try to begin corporally punishing a child when they are older it leads to bad experiences though it has seemed in my experiences on the receiving and giving end of corporal punishment that if it is administered in love, not anger, starting at a young age, a child's mind is shaped to understand, choices and consequences to those choices. I know that my parents as well as my wife and I have always made our children understand what they have done before doling out punishment in fact I made my boys repeat back to me why they were being punished before and after giving punishment, just to make sure there was no fuzz as to why they were being punished.

 

[rocketman]

One method I used often was to make them write something. One time I made my son write "mom is always right" 100 times. My sister said that was abuse. :chuckle:

Well you should not have made him lie, you should have had him write:
"dad is always right" to be accurate...:chuckle:

 

[sky.]

Well you should not have made him lie, you should have had him write:
"dad is always right" to be accurate...:chuckle:

No, when his dad got home he made him write "you listen to your mother" :chuckle:

 

[rocketman]

No, when his dad got home he made him write "you listen to your mother" :chuckle:

I guess he has been well trained...I am still rogue. :chuckle:

 

[IMJerusha]

This is a difficult topic. Rocketman's real world experience is quite valid.

As a Psychologist, who has counseled families with discipline issues for over 30 years, I will sum my experience in just a few words.


Those parents that use corporal punishment in a swift and immediate fashion when their children are young (1 to 9 years of age), don't have to use it when the child is older than 9.

Above the age of 12, corporal punishment brings a host of other negative issues into the arena of parenting. Including deep seated resentment, hatred, and a higher probability of physical injury to the child.

Corporal punishment builds neural pathways in younger children that need to be built, the younger that happens in the child's toddler years, the better for everyone in the family, and the better for society as a whole.

I pity the mother who is raising sons that have never been properly disciplined. There will come an age when she realizes she has mad a tragic mistake.

If you want your child to be a client of mine, don't use any corporal punishment, or just overdo it and beat the child severely, either way, they will be seeing someone like me by choice later in life, or by mandate of the criminal justice system.

I find this really interesting. The private Christian school I attended didn't paddle the younger children. The paddling started at third grade and continued to 8th which was the top grade in the school.
After witnessing two atrocities, and they were very bad, I certainly understand the attitudes of those parents who do not cotton to corporal punishment at all. There has to be reason and control involved and there have been plenty of examples where neither was employed. In my case, for instance, on one occasion, a 6th grader mouthed off horribly to our teacher. The Principal was the one to administer the corporal punishment, requiring the boy to bend over and grasp his ankles. This occurred in front of our class. The initial hit with the paddle was hard yet the boy was still mouthy. The second hit dropped the boy to his knees with a scream and he drew his legs up tight while covering his posterior with his hands. We all thought he was acting and when the Principal tried to force the boy to stand, the boy fainted. He was lifted up and removed from the classroom. We later heard that "something downstairs got broken". Upon reflection many years later, I took that to mean that the boys testicles were severely damaged. Later, in my 7th grade at the school, two 8th grade boys got into a fist fight out in our school playground while at recess. The fight was broken up by the Principal who also happened to teach both 7th and 8th grades simultaneously. Both boys were hauled to the front of the classroom as recess was over. They were both bleeding and shaking from the adrenalin of the fight. The Principal then proceeded to interrogate them and when one answered unsatisfactorily in the Principal's estimation, he would reach out and slap the boy in the face or about the head. The last hit to one of the boy's head was enough to bring blood from his ear. The Principal was livid and had no business behaving in this manner. To my POV, he should have been arrested but nothing was done to the man either time. I resolved to be the kind of Mom that found the truth of matters before any punishment, corporal or otherwise was enacted. I realize the necessity for discipline and I have never shirked my duty as a parent but these two incidents taught me very well that discipline must be doled out with love and restraint. I have no idea what occurred through the years to those boys. I think you are right though. I believe they carried the scars of that injustice for a long time and perhaps still do.

 

[sky.]

I guess he has been well trained...I am still rogue. :chuckle:

I don't really know what you mean by that but the example I gave is about teamwork and we managed to keep it within the family.

 

[sky.]

I would also like to add to this thread that I wouldn't send my child to a school that practised corporal punishment. I wouldn't want my child to witness it either.

 

[Angel4Truth]

I disagree, God intended that we discipline our children and gave them a place receive it. My dad used to say "the fastest way to a child's brain is through his butt" and having two boys of my own I know what he meant. If applied properly it has been very effective in shaping my sons in knowing where the barriers lie, and the consequences for crossing them. Like my father I have only had to go there a few times and now they know I mean what I say. As they are getting older now corporal punishment is not needed, I have possessions and privileges to use as punishment but, thankfully my boys are well behaved being I established that early on through corporal punishment. I think your use of Psalm 23 is rather out of context anna.

agreed and how i see it also

 

[Angel4Truth]

This is a difficult topic. Rocketman's real world experience is quite valid.

As a Psychologist, who has counseled families with discipline issues for over 30 years, I will sum my experience in just a few words.


Those parents that use corporal punishment in a swift and immediate fashion when their children are young (1 to 9 years of age), don't have to use it when the child is older than 9.

Above the age of 12, corporal punishment brings a host of other negative issues into the arena of parenting. Including deep seated resentment, hatred, and a higher probability of physical injury to the child.

Corporal punishment builds neural pathways in younger children that need to be built, the younger that happens in the child's toddler years, the better for everyone in the family, and the better for society as a whole.

I pity the mother who is raising sons that have never been properly disciplined. There will come an age when she realizes she has mad a tragic mistake.

If you want your child to be a client of mine, don't use any corporal punishment, or just overdo it and beat the child severely, either way, they will be seeing someone like me by choice later in life, or by mandate of the criminal justice system.

Well said, i agree here also

 

[rocketman]

I don't really know what you mean by that but the example I gave is about teamwork and we managed to keep it within the family.

It was just a joke sky, nothing else...

 

[Dena]

If you want your child to be a client of mine, don't use any corporal punishment

This right here makes me wonder if you are indeed actually a psychologist. I wouldn't trust a therapist who insists a child who isn't spanked will end up in therapy (and having studied child development I know this isn't taught either). It is not absolutely necessary to spank every child. Period. Choosing another method of discipline does not mean your child will end up needing therapy.

 

[sky.]

It was just a joke sky, nothing else...

Good because I would beat you up if you disrespect my family

but honestly I think it would have been very confusing for my children to know that some children were being spanked at school. I know that I would not allow it and I think that my children would wonder why others did. I think that for my children it would have made a confusing atmosphere to learn in.

 

[Lighthouse]

toldailytopic: Do you support corporal punishment in schools? Should schools spank disobedient children?

I'm unsure as I used to be for it, but what if they wanted to spank the child for something that isn't actually wrong?

No, I don't think it should be there. Mainly because I believe every child reacts differently to it. Some children may be more reponsive to authority and they may conform as a result of the punishment. Other children, not so much.

All children are not the obedient type and need different means to coerce them. I was one of the children who got spanked at school and at home constantly and all it did was just drive me to out smart the authority figures in my life. It just made me very angry at authority, nothing positive came of it. I've always been about doing my own thing, doing things my way I guess. So I had many many nights growing up where I just would just lay in bed scheming and making plans. Especially after so called "punishment" .

I would have been a lot better off with people reasoning with me to tell me why I shouldn't do this or that, than merely spanking me and just saying it's wrong. That just made me angry. Discipling a child should be catered to that child's personality and what they need. There is no one trick pony for everyone.

My father would always talk to me first and explain to me and make sure i understood and then spank me. I believe this is the proper way to go about it.

 

[RevTestament]

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Yes, if the parent(s) sign to allow it. As a parent, I stopped even threatening my kids with a spank once they reached 10. More productive and lesson-learning consequences such as clean-ups, chores, privilege-deprivation, etc have matured my children better, I believe.