Dealing with an angry person

[serpentdove]

Pr 15:2

Michele Bachmann had to be a type of Abigail when Obama dissed Netanyahu.

Flashback:

Obama disrespects God's anointed

Michele Bachmann calls on President Obama to apologize to Israeli PM Netanyahu for unflattering exchange caught on open mic

"The Tongue

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger [Prov. 15:1].

I’m sure that the people who come to your mind at this proverb are Abigail and Nabal. We have seen several proverbs that are applicable to them. Abigail was the beautiful, lovely wife and woman. Nabal, her husband, was the fool but a very rich man. Someone has written a book called “Beauty and the Beast,” and it is the story of Nabal and Abigail—Abigail is the beauty and Nabal is the beast. You will recall that when Abigail heard that her husband had sent an insulting answer to David, who had in kindness and consideration taken care of his flocks, she hurriedly ordered the servants to gather a great deal of food for David. Then she went to meet David and fell down on her face before him. She recognized him as the future king, and she spoke to him of the fact that his life was bound up in the bundle of life with God—a beautiful expression. She gave a soft answer, and it did turn away wrath. On the other hand, grievous words stir up anger—which certainly was true of the words of Nabal.

You will notice many illustrations of this as you go through the Word of God. We find that the Lord Jesus Himself used the strongest language in the entire Scriptures in His denunciation of the Pharisees in Matthew 23. There can be a proper time to “put it on the line,” and Jesus certainly could do that. But notice how gracious He was to those who needed the grace of God. He told the poor woman in sin, “… Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). What a gracious thing to say to her. So we find illustrations of this again and again in the Word of God. There is a time for the very gracious, soft answer. There is also a time when the answer needs to be strong.

The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness [Prov. 15:2].

We are back again to the tongue. I’ll repeat what I have said before—there is more said in the Bible about the abuse of the tongue than about the abuse of alcohol. That does not mean we commend alcohol; I think the greatest curse of this country right now is not dope or drugs but alcohol. Somehow people tend to point an accusing finger at the drug addict, but they excuse the alcoholic as being sick and needing help. He certainly does. The Word of God condemns drunkenness but even more severely condemns the abuse of the tongue. That little tongue will tell people who you really are. It will give you away. I have a little booklet entitled Hell on Fire. It is a scriptural title, dealing with the tongue, that dangerous little instrument." McGee, J. V. (1997). Thru the Bible commentary (electronic ed., Vol. 3, p. 52). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

 

[PureX]

If I had my 'clever cap' on that day I would have asked your roommate right off if he thought asking people if they are a thief would actually inspire them to tell him that they are a thief. Because it's a complex enough question with an obvious enough answer to short-circuit his momentary dogged stupidity. And once he realizes, through the question, that he is behaving like a moron, he would hopefully reboot and approach the subject more reasonably.

If he is unable to do that, then I'll know there is no further point to engaging this conversation with him, because he is not rational, and nothing will be gained by it.

 

[Eric h]

Often something is wrong, and people have the right to be angry. But you cannot calm an angry person down, you can only calm your own anxiety.

Say all the stuff you want to say, but reply quieter and slower than they do, eventually, they will match your tone of voice. It works a bit like a sponge, you soak up their anger, and they soak up your calm.

If they are still shouting after three seconds, just superglue their lips to the mirror, it will give them time to reflect on the cause of the problem.

 

[patrick jane]

I laugh at angry people

 

[Danoh]

I've tried reasoning with some on TOL when I've been misunderstood.

Knowing all too well that if the other party turns out married to what is obviously their fool ignorance, I will simply ignore their stupidity from that point forward.

Why? Because life is short; and the time lost caught up in animosity back and forth will only rob one of that time; and result in nothing more than adding further fuel to the fire.

In the case of such an one as a roommate, even more time is wasted to no avail because the fool is unavoidable.

Simple solution - tell em to find somewhere else to stay.

It wil come to that sooner or later anyway; might as well make it sooner, as you are already bad off, and who in their right mind needs more of that.

At times, cutting to this kind of solution without hesitation has the result of the fool changing his fool way.

If not, you still come out ahead, as you no longer have to deal with their nonsense.

The best to you in this.

 

[meshak]

Often something is wrong, and people have the right to be angry. But you cannot calm an angry person down, you can only calm your own anxiety.

Say all the stuff you want to say, but reply quieter and slower than they do, eventually, they will match your tone of voice. It works a bit like a sponge, you soak up their anger, and they soak up your calm.

If they are still shouting after three seconds, just superglue their lips to the mirror, it will give them time to reflect on the cause of the problem.

It is good advice but it is hard to practice for most of us. When or if we become mature Christian it will become easier.

 

[meshak]

In the meantime, I will put them on ignore, in the hopes of not get myself in trouble.