Dating is a Failed Modern Experiment

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Jefferson

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Dating is a Failed Modern Experiment

BEST QUOTE OF THE SHOW:
If the police kept track of every murder if there was sexual immorality involved - sex outside of marriage, pornography and so on - I think the nation would be stunned to see the degree to which sexual immorality is a significant factor in kidnappings and assaults and murders.
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This is the show from Thursday July 8th, 2010.

SUMMARY:

16-year old Leah Geiser from New Jersey: has figured it out and wrote a paper about it! Dating is a failed modern social experiment, as documented by Geiser in Cultural Prostitution: How the Idea of Relationships Has Deteriorated Over Time. Leah reports that the first use of the terms "date" and "dating" for relationship is traced to prostitutes (see her source for this from Johns Hopkins University Press, Beth Bailey's From Front Porch to Back Seat). So Bob Enyart looked up date and dating in the 1828 Noah Websters Dictionary corroborating that there was no use of the term even at that late date in history. Dating is not even all it's cracked up to be.
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Yazichestvo

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"Dating" related to prostitution? As in "Hey Sailor, care for a date?" I think I had heard that.

Sexual immorality plays a role in murder, kidnappings, and assualt? That sounds about right. There are dangerous people, totally benign people, and plenty of shades of grey between that many moralists get overly alarmed about. I have a feeling many definitions of "sexual immorality" are broader than the definition of "dangerous."

Kidnapping, assaults, and murders play a small role overall in sexual immorality. I would imagine such things are rare in your everyday amorous activity.
 
Granite

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"Dating doesn't work" coming from a sixteen-year-old who...has probably never been asked out! Makes sense to me.:chuckle:

This is like a nun saying sex is overrated...
 
Lucky

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I wish Leah the best, but I bet some 99% of ultra-conservative teens that bash dating sing a completely different tune as they go through their 20s.

Dating may be a fail, but so is paying any attention to the relationship expertise of a 16yo.
 
The Graphite

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Persephone66 said:
If dating is a "failed modern experiment" then how does one go about finding their ideal mate?
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A solid, conservative church. Best advice in the world. Especially if you ask them to arrange the relationship for you.

Keep in mind, they set it up, you court the person, you make a choice and a commitment, typically after a few weeks or a couple months.

Think I'm crazy? There are a couples in my church (and other couples I know) who very happily vouch for it and strongly recommend it!

I will take issue with only one part of what you asked, though. Ideal mate? No such thing. If you find an "ideal mate," stay away from them... or you'll ruin their life. LOL

Love is a choice you make and an action you take, not a feeling you follow. The feelings and attraction will be there, but your commitment and action will actually keep those feelings alive (and might even initiate them), not vice versa.

Wanna do it the world's way? 50% of marriages now end in divorce in America, where dating is ubiquitous as the method of choosing a mate. Flip a coin - heads or tails. Do you want to base your marriage on the flip of a coin? Heads, a life of joy, tails and your marriage ends in catastrophe and pain? Take out a coin right now and satisfy your curiosity; flip it, call it in the air and see. Were you lucky? Does your marriage end up dead, or alive?

You can live according to the world, or you can walk according to the will of our Creator, who knows a lot better than we do what works and what is right. Arranged courtships aren't foolproof, because they involve imperfect human beings. But they are a darn sight better than what the world has to offer.
 
Granite

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Arranged courtships. Yep, way to remove the romance, zest, excitement, and adventure (to say nothing of how ridiculous and childish it is to set up marriages these days).

Lucky, you're absolutely right, by the way: I've found the more uptight and resistant to "dating" a Christian teen is, the second they leave the protective cocoon and actually experience life--as opposed to their church-crafted version of it--the tune is forgotten and swapped with a song that has a little more swagger...
 
MrRadish

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Well done to Leah for using the Harvard Referencing System.

That's about all the good things I can say for her opinionated (doubly unfortunate as they're probably not even opinions she's come up with by herself), poorly-argued rant, which seems to be an essay in format alone.

Quite aside from her very odd use of grammar and language, in which she appears to be trying to write in a formal, scholarly tone but then muddies the water with phrases like "If our culture mandates that premarital sex is okay", or long, multiclausal sentences without a comma in sight, there are a number of substantial flaws in her ability to construct a real argument. In leaping to unsubstantiated, monocausal conclusions, such as "Popularity was spawned by dating, bullying was spawned by popularity, and this boy’s suicide was spawned by bullying" and failing to address or indeed acknowledge any counterarguments throughout the piece, she substantially undermines her own position.

Furthermore, in making wild declarations like "In the past few years there have been many documented cases of bullying leading to [...] genocide." (failing to produce a single example of actual genocide taking place as a result of competition over sexual popularity) and "popularity is not just a problem today it also expressed itself in the past: originally instigated by dating." (as if people didn't worry about their attractiveness for centuries before dating become fashionable. A glance at any Austen novel will demonstrate how absurd this viewpoint is) she ruins the credibility of any decent points that she might make in her apparent attempt to hyperbolise and exaggerate her argument.

Finally, using weighted language such as "corrupt" or "innocent" is inappropriate for an essay like this, as they are matters of opinion and thus irrelevant to the advancement of an objective argument. It's all very well using these sorts of word in the comfort of Pastor Enyart's church, where almost everybody will more or less agree on what constitutes progress and decline, but to apply this to an essay - a work directed at individuals who may very well have entirely different opinions, standards and ideals to the author - is to introduce subjectivity into a theoretically objective work, and thus eliminate entirely its credibility.

But yeah, good job on writing a bibliography; people often forget to do that.
 
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Tyrathca

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The Graphite said:
A solid, conservative church. Best advice in the world. Especially if you ask them to arrange the relationship for you.

Keep in mind, they set it up, you court the person, you make a choice and a commitment, typically after a few weeks or a couple months.
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How does that differ from dating other than the shorter than normal time frame and the presence of a 3rd party with considerably influence?
 
serpentdove

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Tyrathca said:
How does that differ from dating other than the shorter than normal time frame and the presence of a 3rd party with considerably influence?
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It is worth your time to download and play the MP3. Dating and courtship are two very different things--one is modern-day prostitution. The other is for the purpose of (a successful) marriage.
 
serpentdove

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MrRadish said:
"...sing weighted language such as "corrupt" or "innocent" is inappropriate for an essay like this, as they are matters of opinion..."
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I don't think this young lady holds your syncretist view of the world (did Israel in by the way). :smokie: She recognizes sin and exposes it. Are you suggesting we continue along the path of more: venereal diseases, depression, and increased suicide under the guise of liberation? :hammer: How's that working out for people today? :sigh: When you do things God's way, it leads to a good life (Jn 10:10). When God says don't do it--he means don't hurt yourself.

Dirty dogs don't get fine :peach: young women like this. Her future husband will be blessed indeed (Pr 31).
 
MrRadish

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serpentdove said:
I don't think this young lady holds your syncretist view of the world (did Israel in by the way). :smokie: She recognizes sin and exposes it.
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Whether or not she thinks it's a sin is irrelevant. An essay (or 'paper' as it's been rather ostentatiously labelled) isn't an appropriate medium for expressing an opinion like that. It's fine that she holds it, but if she feels she must raise the point in her writing then she shouldn't be calling it a 'paper' and pretending it's a serious piece of academic writing.
 
Granite

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MrRadish said:
Whether or not she thinks it's a sin is irrelevant. An essay (or 'paper' as it's been rather ostentatiously labelled) isn't an appropriate medium for expressing an opinion like that. It's fine that she holds it, but if she feels she must raise the point in her writing then she shouldn't be calling it a 'paper' and pretending it's a serious piece of academic writing.
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The idea that anyone should take their cues from a sixteen-year-old is pretty rich...I mean, this gal doesn't even know who or what she really is or wants, and won't for quite a while.
 
Quincy

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Wait so I should lie about being Christian and pretend so I can find a proper wife? The audacity of it. The audacity.


Keep talking I'm taking notes here.
 
MrRadish

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Granite said:
The idea that anyone should take their cues from a sixteen-year-old is pretty rich...I mean, this gal doesn't even know who or what she really is or wants, and won't for quite a while.
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Well, quite. Which makes Enyart acting as if this silly little frippery is a proper piece of scholarship all the more irritating, not to mention misleading and exploitative to the lass in question.

I just think it's a bit sad that such a large number of people seem to think that it's not just acceptable but also morally laudable to refuse to acknowledge or address alternative points of view. Plus, of course, I've met people who write like this at university and they tend to get awful grades and not understand why. Which, again, is a pity.
 
serpentdove

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MrRadish said:
"An essay (or 'paper' as it's been rather ostentatiously labeled) isn't an appropriate medium for expressing an opinion like that."
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This is what all professors say. :dizzy: They do not want their student's opinions at all. :hammer:

MrRadish said:
"It's fine that she holds it..."
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Then why all the fuss?

MrRadish said:
"...but if she feels she must raise the point in her writing then she shouldn't be calling it a 'paper' and pretending it's a serious piece of academic writing."
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It couldn't be serious if it disagrees with your worldview (queue the pipe smoking professor in ivory tower). I think she's well on her way to becoming a good writer. Could it be you are not "tolerant" of her position at all? :idunno: It's the integrity of the writing that concerns you. :rolleyes:
 
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