karstkid POTD!

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Cracked

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The following statements are from the Alpha Course:

And the church has divided on just about every conceivable issue—in fact, on every inconceivable issue as well.

I once was… We were in San Francisco and we went to the Golden Gate Bridge—an amazing sight and amazing views from there. And I heard about a man who was standing in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge, admiring the view, when another tourist walked up alongside him to do the same. And he said:
I heard him say quietly as he took in the beauty of the view: ‘What an awesome God!’ I turned to him and I said, `Oh, are you a Christian?’ He said, `Yes, I am a Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we shook hands.

I said, `Are you a liberal or a fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm a fundamental Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we smiled and nodded to each other. I said, `Are you a covenant or dispensational fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm a dispensational fundamental Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we slapped one another on the back.

I said, `Are you an early Acts, mid Acts, or late Acts dispensational fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm a mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we agreed to exchange Christmas cards each year.

I said, `Are you an Acts 9 or 13 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm an Acts 9 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we hugged one another right there on the bridge. I said, `Are you a pre-Trib or post-Trib Acts 9 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm a pre-Trib Acts 9 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian.’ I said, `So am I,’ and we agreed to exchange our kids for the summer. I said, `Are you a twelve-in or twelve-out pre-Trib Acts 9 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian?’ He said, `I'm a twelve-in pre-Trib Acts 9 mid Acts dispensational fundamental Christian.’ I said, `You heretic!’ and I pushed him off the bridge.


So that's been the history of the church. But we live in a very exciting time, actually, when these kind of denominational barriers are coming down. And disunity is a scandal. Of course, outside the church, people look in and they say, `Look, if you guys can’t even agree amongst yourselves what you believe in, why should I be interested?’ But Jesus prayed—just before he died, Jesus prayed that we should be one so that the world would believe.


It is a very sad sad state of the Christian Church to think it is just doctrine that unites us. I find that Dispensationalists, especially the non-Acts 2 kind, are among the most legalistic, anti-Grace, judgemental, hate-filled people that I know. They claim to be "grace" churches but they have gone almost full circle and are standing at the edge of the legalistic doctrinal chasm looking at the Christian Reconstructionists on the other side. Just look at Bob Enyart. He is a Ultra-Dispensational pastor who quotes from Christian Reconstructionist Rousas Rushdoony's book "Institutes of Biblical Law". As far as I am concerned, Ultra-Dispensationalism or Christian Reconstructionism, in practice there is hardly any difference.
 

Ktoyou

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OK, not to spoil the main thread, but I have read this before. OK, it is not his original idea
 
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