Homeschool: when not to?

[philosophizer]

Okay, I am in favor of homeschooling. I think, as a system for elementary and high school education, it is a better idea than public schooling. I don't like the generalizations that many people have about a lack of education or social skills in homeschoolers.

That said, I don't think homeschooling is always the answer for every family. Homeschooling your children takes a lot of qualities. You must have a lot of love, a lot of patience, a reasonable talent for teaching, and the intelligence necessary to figure out how your child needs to learn.

Many parents have these qualities and have the determination to refine those qualities in themselves in order to best teach their children, and the faith in God necessary to teach with all amounts of love.

But some parents do not have these qualities. Some are impatient and prideful.

I believe, given all those good qualities, it would be wrong for parents to public school when they can homeschool. Under the right conditions it is the best option.

But my question is this: What is the solution for those other parents who might want to homeschool but, for lack of any of those important qualities, is not able to properly teach?

(This is not a case against homeschooling by any means. It is an honest question I'm wondering about.)

 

[ebenz47037]

I'm going to go a little bit off your topic, philo. I hope you don't mind.

In my opinion, if the parents cannot teach their children, they can always hire a tutor. I've done so in the past when :jessilu: wanted to learn geology. To me, not having a talent for teaching is not a good excuse for not homeschooling. Especially if you have children who are more intelligent than the public school system can handle.

The only thing I can say about your topic, though, is that you have to judge each child independently. I know one family who is homeschooling three children and has three in public school, based solely on the children's learning styles and needs.

I'm a staunch supporter of homeschooling. But, it's a decision that needs to be up to the parents and the parents alone.

 

[Yorzhik]

A good private school or private tutoring. These are reasonable options, and I don't think there are any other reasonable options.

 

[philosophizer]

Originally posted by ebenz47037

I'm going to go a little bit off your topic, philo. I hope you don't mind.

Not really off topic at all.

In my opinion, if the parents cannot teach their children, they can always hire a tutor. I've done so in the past when :jessilu: wanted to learn geology. To me, not having a talent for teaching is not a good excuse for not homeschooling. Especially if you have children who are more intelligent than the public school system can handle.

The only thing I can say about your topic, though, is that you have to judge each child independently. I know one family who is homeschooling three children and has three in public school, based solely on the children's learning styles and needs.

Good points! Each child needs to be judged according to his/her needs. Some children require special attention in their education-- someone to work with them directly, which is not always possible in a mulitple child homeschool situation.

Also the intelligence of the child compared to the pace of a school system must be considered. Public school is limited by the fact that it is public. It is, in theory, supposed to be guided by a "no child left behind" philosophy. Unfortunately, that usually also means that no child can get ahead.

But I was asking more about the parents than the children. I know a family that homeschools. The dad works while the mom stays at home. She is a very intelligent woman and certainly could teach all the requirements of a pre-college education. But she is a terrible teacher because she lacks other qualities that people usually don't think about.

People usually focus only on intelligence, which she has. But she is very impatient. She has some very smart kids, but she expects them to catch on to everything immediately. This is because she is prideful and wants the children to meet or surpass her standards. She brags about her own achievements when she was in school and uses it put the kids down. She is quick-tempered. And most of the time she prefers impersonal teaching methods rather than take the time to have personal one-on-one time when the kids need it.

So she has more than enough intelligence, but lacks several other necessary qualities. If a parent like that realizes the lack of those qualities yet still dislikes the public school system, what are the best options for them and their children?

I'm a staunch supporter of homeschooling. But, it's a decision that needs to be up to the parents and the parents alone.

I agree. I would also add the child's thoughts into the equation. Sometimes the children can make very useful suggestions about what they need in an education.

 

[philosophizer]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

A good private school or private tutoring. These are reasonable options, and I don't think there are any other reasonable options.

Thank you. I think these are good options as well.

 

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by philosophizer

Not really off topic at all.


Good points! Each child needs to be judged according to his/her needs. Some children require special attention in their education-- someone to work with them directly, which is not always possible in a mulitple child homeschool situation.

But, you have to think too, that if mom and dad help each other out with it, it may not be necessary to put the child in public school either. My husband and I had very different teaching styles. So, you have to look at that as well.

Also the intelligence of the child compared to the pace of a school system must be considered. Public school is limited by the fact that it is public. It is, in theory, supposed to be guided by a "no child left behind" philosophy. Unfortunately, that usually also means that no child can get ahead.

Yep. :chuckle: My daughter's second grade teacher (who ended up encouraging me to homeschool her) told me that the reason she had a problem teaching my daughter was because I allowed her to learn to read before first grade.

But I was asking more about the parents than the children. I know a family that homeschools. The dad works while the mom stays at home. She is a very intelligent woman and certainly could teach all the requirements of a pre-college education. But she is a terrible teacher because she lacks other qualities that people usually don't think about.

There are some parents who aren't good at teaching. That's one reason I suggested tutors. And, you also have to look at the fact that both parents will have different teaching styles. I don't think that all the teaching should be laid on one parent's shoulders if there are two parents in the home. Even if the father is working and the mother is a SAHM, the father can help out. Steve did. He taught Bible and English to :jessilu:. That's what he wanted to do. Anyone can help out (i.e. grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc...). It doesn't all have to be on the parents, although it is primarily their responsibility. They have the right to delegate.

People usually focus only on intelligence, which she has. But she is very impatient. She has some very smart kids, but she expects them to catch on to everything immediately. This is because she is prideful and wants the children to meet or surpass her standards. She brags about her own achievements when she was in school and uses it put the kids down. She is quick-tempered. And most of the time she prefers impersonal teaching methods rather than take the time to have personal one-on-one time when the kids need it.

I can't tell you what your friend should do. She is the parent who has taken the responsibility to teach her children.

So she has more than enough intelligence, but lacks several other necessary qualities. If a parent like that realizes the lack of those qualities yet still dislikes the public school system, what are the best options for them and their children?

Tutors, help from family and friends, private school.

I agree. I would also add the child's thoughts into the equation. Sometimes the children can make very useful suggestions about what they need in an education.

Every year, now, I ask :jessilu: if she still wants to homeschool. I do this because she's now going into high school. I want her to have a say-so in her education. So far, she's said yes for the last two years. The only exception is that she asked if she can take a computer graphics course at the college next summer.

Up until a certain point, I had total say-so in my daughter's education. I still do, but I choose to allow her to have a say-so as well.

 

[philosophizer]

Thank you, Nori and Yorzhik, for some great responses.

So, as other (or additional) options we have tutors, other family members, and private schools.

Should Public Schools be considered as a lower option, or not at all, or a possibility depending on the quality of the school itself?

 

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by philosophizer

Thank you, Nori and Yorzhik, for some great responses.

So, as other (or additional) options we have tutors, other family members, and private schools.

Should Public Schools be considered as a lower option, or not at all, or a possibility depending on the quality of the school itself?

I can't speak for everyone. But, I've not seen a "good" public school since I was in school over twenty years ago. All of the schools I've dealt with concerning my daughter have been (IMHO) sub-standard.

 

[philosophizer]

Originally posted by ebenz47037

I can't speak for everyone. But, I've not seen a "good" public school since I was in school over twenty years ago. All of the schools I've dealt with concerning my daughter have been (IMHO) sub-standard.

The public school I attended was, IMO, pretty good. I was usually ahead a little ways, but rarely felt held back. When the opportunity was there I was able to take advanced classes if they suited me better.

My niece currently goes to the same school. Things have changed quite a bit. I would not enroll a child of mine there as it is now.

Good ones are out there, but they're getting harder to find.

 

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by philosophizer

The public school I attended was, IMO, pretty good. I was usually ahead a little ways, but rarely felt held back. When the opportunity was there I was able to take advanced classes if they suited me better.

My niece currently goes to the same school. Things have changed quite a bit. I would not enroll a child of mine there as it is now.

Good ones are out there, but they're getting harder to find.

My little sister graduated from the same school I did fifteen years apart. I know that from what she told me, it was easier to get good grades in 2002 than it was in 1987.

 

[Turbo]

Originally posted by philosophizer

The public school I attended was, IMO, pretty good. I was usually ahead a little ways, but rarely felt held back. When the opportunity was there I was able to take advanced classes if they suited me better.

My niece currently goes to the same school. Things have changed quite a bit. I would not enroll a child of mine there as it is now.

You graduated about eight years ago, right? What has changed?

A little off topic, I know. But I'm curous.

 

[Yorzhik]

20 years ago things in public school were okay? My mother quit in the early 60's because it was untenable for her to continue being a public school teacher. And she was in a good school, too. Things haven't, to say the least, gotten better with age...

So, no, public school is never an option. Better a bad teacher who is a parent then public school.

 

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

20 years ago things in public school were okay? My mother quit in the early 60's because it was untenable for her to continue being a public school teacher. And she was in a good school, too. Things haven't, to say the least, gotten better with age...

So, no, public school is never an option. Better a bad teacher who is a parent then public school.

IMHO, Yorzhik, twenty years ago, public schools were much better than they are today. This is based on what was available to gifted students when I was in elementary and high school, and what is available to gifted students now.

Sure. Technology has advanced enough for students to learn new things. But, when it comes to the basics, our schools are sorely lacking. I've read too many stories over the last fourteen years about kids graduating high school, not knowing how to read, do simple math, or even who our vice president is!

Last year and the year before, a radio station in Cincinatti did a poll of graduating seniors and asked them who our vice president was and who was Colin Powell. Over 50% didn't know who the vp is and 62% thought Colin Powell was our vp. That's ridiculous! They should at least be up on current events. My fourteen year old daughter knows the answer to both those questions.

 

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by ebenz47037

To me, not having a talent for teaching is not a good excuse for not homeschooling. Especially if you have children who are more intelligent than the public school system can handle.

I know this from experience.

Originally posted by philosophizer

It is, in theory, supposed to be guided by a "no child left behind" philosophy. Unfortunately, that usually also means that no child can get ahead.

And it is the very reason that all children, in public schools, are left behind.

 

[ebenz47037]

Hey Lighthouse! I read your post in the other homeschooling thread. I agree with you about school being for academics. That's one reason I homeschool my daughter. I still remember her kindergarten teacher trying to explain to me why socialization was much more important that academic education. :chuckle: Both my husband and I agreed that academics were much more important than socialization. We ended up having a meeting with the principal, the teacher, and the two of us about why :jessilu: should or should not be held back in kindergarten. :chuckle: We finally made our point that academics was the point of school and that socialization would come later.

Little did we know that :jessilu: would turn into a horse-crazy social butterfly.