Here are some pearls of wisdom written by kids in the essays they write for Sunday school :
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark .
Lot's wife was a pillar of fire by day but a ball of fire by night.
Esau was a man who wrote fables and sold his copyright for a mess of potash .
The brother of Jacob was called Seesaw .
Samson pulled down the pillows of the temple .
On Mount Sinai the Lord gave Moses the Ten Amendments .
The Israelites made a Golden Calf because they didn't have enough
gold to make a cow .
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple .
The Fifth Commandment is to Humor Thy Father And They Mother .
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery .
Joshua led the Hebrews in their victory in the Battle of Geritol .
Solomon had 200 wives and 700 cucumbers .
Salome was a very wicked woman who wore very few clothes and took
them off when she danced before Harrods .
When Mary heard that she was the mother of God she sang the
Magna Carta .
Jesus was born becauseMary had an immaculate contraption .
When they arrived , they found Jesus in the manager .
In the Gospel of Luke, they named him Enamel .
The people who followed the Lord were called the twelve opossums .
Jesus ate the Last Supper with Twelve decibels .
The epistles were the wives of the Apostles .
I love the Christmas story, especially the part about the three wise guys from the East Side .
The Golden Rule says to do one to others as they would do one to
you .
Another miracle is when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance .
A Christian can have only one wife. This is called monotony .
The natives of Macedonia did not believe Paul, so he got stoned .
The Pope lives in the vacuum .
The Pope wrote a book called "The Pill's Grim Progress ."
The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of Sea-sick .
A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible .
The Christians who were sentenced to death entered the arena to
face wild lions singing hymns of praise .
The Romans went to the coliseum to watch the Christians die for
the fun of it .
A Protestant is a woman who gets her living through an immoral life .
Holy Acrimony is another name for marriage
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark .
Lot's wife was a pillar of fire by day but a ball of fire by night.
Esau was a man who wrote fables and sold his copyright for a mess of potash .
The brother of Jacob was called Seesaw .
Samson pulled down the pillows of the temple .
On Mount Sinai the Lord gave Moses the Ten Amendments .
The Israelites made a Golden Calf because they didn't have enough
gold to make a cow .
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple .
The Fifth Commandment is to Humor Thy Father And They Mother .
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery .
Joshua led the Hebrews in their victory in the Battle of Geritol .
Solomon had 200 wives and 700 cucumbers .
Salome was a very wicked woman who wore very few clothes and took
them off when she danced before Harrods .
When Mary heard that she was the mother of God she sang the
Magna Carta .
Jesus was born becauseMary had an immaculate contraption .
When they arrived , they found Jesus in the manager .
In the Gospel of Luke, they named him Enamel .
The people who followed the Lord were called the twelve opossums .
Jesus ate the Last Supper with Twelve decibels .
The epistles were the wives of the Apostles .
I love the Christmas story, especially the part about the three wise guys from the East Side .
The Golden Rule says to do one to others as they would do one to
you .
Another miracle is when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance .
A Christian can have only one wife. This is called monotony .
The natives of Macedonia did not believe Paul, so he got stoned .
The Pope lives in the vacuum .
The Pope wrote a book called "The Pill's Grim Progress ."
The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of Sea-sick .
A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible .
The Christians who were sentenced to death entered the arena to
face wild lions singing hymns of praise .
The Romans went to the coliseum to watch the Christians die for
the fun of it .
A Protestant is a woman who gets her living through an immoral life .
Holy Acrimony is another name for marriage
