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  • Originally posted by annabenedetti View Post
    Silence could be a great gift, especially for those who rarely find it. I'm glad you found it, and find it when you need it.

    But can fear and anxiety be reduced to nonsense by those who have good reason to fear or to be anxious? Wouldn't that have to be a different thing altogether, acknowledging the fear or anxiety and accepting that it's a part of who you are at that moment, and looking at the root cause of them? Because how do you laugh away something so life-impacting?
    Fear is a lot like an alarm bell. Once it's alerted us to a problem, we need to turn it off to deal with the problem, effectively.

    But I was thinking about a different kind of fear. I was thinking about the kind of ever-present, free-floating fear that people feel who have lived their lives in danger. People like alcoholics and addicts who's live stumbling from one disaster to the next. And people who have been victims of abuse, who never know when the next blow will come. Or why. For these people being afraid becomes a way of life. And that free-floating fear can attach itself to anything; realistic, or not.

    They need to overcome that fear just to see life realistically. And to experience peace and joy, again. I was one of these people, as an alcoholic, and that's why my sponsor recommended meditation to help me recognize and face all that fear. And it's not just the fear, but the guilt, and anger, and resentment, and self-loathing, and all the other free-floating anxiety I was feeling because I had not dealt with my feelings in the past, and instead just ran for a drink. Being sober after years of ignoring my own feelings made that 'silence' deafening! But all the more reason to face it.

    Quiet time is good time for me, now. I can daydream. I can think about what's good in my life instead of what's terrible. Because nothing is terrible. I'm alive. I'm still breathing. Gravity is still holding me to the Earth. And the amazing gift of being is still mine.

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    • I'm very glad for you PureX, that you find yourself in a good place these days.

      Or maybe you wouldn't say it that way, because you didn't just find yourself there, you looked for that good place and put yourself there. Or maybe there's another option and I should just quit trying to figure out how you'd say it.

      Originally posted by PureX View Post
      Quiet time is good time for me, now. I can daydream. I can think about what's good in my life instead of what's terrible. Because nothing is terrible. I'm alive. I'm still breathing. Gravity is still holding me to the Earth. And the amazing gift of being is still mine.
      That's a good way to look at things. I'm going to try to remember that.

      Tried and waited then got tired, that's about it

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      • Years ago a Navajo friend and I were teasing each other as we were working together on a project. At one point in the exchange Raleigh Joe says to me, "Why don't all you 'round-eyes' go back to Europe where you came from!" He thought for a second and then he added: "But leave the plumbing".

        Every time I turn on the tap and water comes out, I think of Raleigh Joe and of just how fortunate I am to be who I am, and where I am. It's really just that simple, if we think about it.
        Last edited by PureX; October 3rd, 2016, 01:44 PM.

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        • Tried and waited then got tired, that's about it

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          • Originally posted by annabenedetti View Post
            Thank you to the guy who finally stopped to help it!!!

            Though, I'll be honest. If I was flying down a highway I'm not sure I'd stop either. Shame on me.

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            • kittens eh?

              is that like veal?


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              • Originally posted by kmoney View Post
                Thank you to the guy who finally stopped to help it!!!

                Though, I'll be honest. If I was flying down a highway I'm not sure I'd stop either. Shame on me.
                I cringed with each car that came by, even though I knew it would turn out well. And even though the others didn't stop, you could see they were trying not to hit it. Sometimes it might not be safe enough to stop, but I'm sure glad that guy decided to, it did my heart good today.

                Tried and waited then got tired, that's about it

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                • Originally posted by PureX View Post
                  Thomas Merton likened that silence to Jesus' time in the desert. He wrote that we need to go into that silence to confront ourselves. And to finally make peace with who we really are, instead of constantly distracting ourselves with who we think we are.

                  When I first got sober my sponsor suggested that I try meditation. Just sitting quietly for 20 minutes a day. But when I tried it, within a minute my mind and heart were so full of disconcerting crap that I'd start freaking out. It was overwhelming to have nowhere or way to hide from it. But in time I learned how to let the noise be, and just focus on breathing, and on gravity pulling me to the Earth. And on the sound of my own heart beating. And all that fear and anxiety in my mind began to quiet down. I could recognize it for the nonsense that it really was. Disembodied fears running amok in my head. Probably been there for years. And once I could see them for what they were, I could laugh at them and let them go.

                  Silence is a great gift if we have the courage to stay and face it. And we don't have to be sitting cross legged on a mountain top to obtain it. In the end, it is a state of mind. All it takes is our willingness to stay with it. And it's a state I still go to whenever I feel myself getting "wound up" by my circumstances.
                  Huge fan of Merton. Found him in Mountain and went around looking for anything of his I could find. He once said that if a sermon wasn't born out of a profound silence it was a waste of time.
                  You aren't what you eat, but you're always what you swallow.

                  Pro-Life






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                  • Originally posted by ok doser View Post
                    kittens eh?

                    is that like veal?


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                    • Originally posted by annabenedetti View Post
                      I cringed with each car that came by, even though I knew it would turn out well. And even though the others didn't stop, you could see they were trying not to hit it. Sometimes it might not be safe enough to stop, but I'm sure glad that guy decided to, it did my heart good today.
                      It's sad and weird to think that there are a certain percentage of humans among us that would have TRIED to hit the kitten. Just to do it.

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                      • Originally posted by PureX View Post
                        It's sad and weird to think that there are a certain percentage of humans among us that would have TRIED to hit the kitten. Just to do it.


                        it's sad and weird that that's what occurs to you

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                        • "Fault In Our Stars" wife dies 5 days after husband

                          Tried and waited then got tired, that's about it

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                          • Originally posted by PureX View Post
                            It's sad and weird to think that there are a certain percentage of humans among us that would have TRIED to hit the kitten. Just to do it.
                            True. Cruelty to animals is a common behavior for someone with antisocial personality disorder.

                            Tried and waited then got tired, that's about it

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                            • Originally posted by kmoney View Post
                              Thank you to the guy who finally stopped to help it!!!

                              betcha he took it home and ate it



                              bammy would

                              Last edited by ok doser; September 27th, 2016, 07:51 AM.

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                              • Originally posted by annabenedetti View Post
                                True. Cruelty to animals is a common behavior for someone with antisocial personality disorder.
                                And don't symptoms of that usually surface before the mid teens? I read somewhere...I think it was on the Mayo Clinic website, that schoolyard bullies have much higher incidences of that particular disorder.
                                You aren't what you eat, but you're always what you swallow.

                                Pro-Life






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