....His reasons? “My grandfather had five wives. My father had three wives and 17 children and he was able to maintain all of them from his large scale farming in North Rift. Getting a second wife was only natural for me.” And so he is simply following in his family’s footsteps, and establishing his own legacy – as well as doing women a favour: “I don’t see anything wrong with it. After all, women would rather the security of a successful man than the attention of a weak and struggling romantic man,” he says.
While Zack’s decision to marry a second wife was inspired by parenting, it was also a show of financial status. “I wouldn’t be a man enough if I got another wife and failed to meet my manly and financial responsibilities,” he says. “You only get a wife your wallet can afford!”
As it turns out, wealth is the most common denominator among men who go for second wives. According to psychologist Dr. Chris Hart, this is not just a Kenyan male thing. “From the mistresses of medieval kings to the harems of Arab potentates, men everywhere have always tried to have more than one partner,” he says; the only difference is scarcity of resources sufficient to support more than one wife that often tames even the most determined men.
“Once they have enough money, every man’s thoughts turn to another wife. So they either have a series of partners – each a little younger than the last – or get a second wife,” he says. His observation is supported by Elias Onyango, 34, who sees nothing wrong with polygamy. “I would get a second wife if I were able to support her and the children. Currently, I cannot afford to do this from my Sh35,000 monthly income as a mechanic. I have a wife and three kids, two of whom are in secondary school,” he says.
Not all polygamous men are happy at how their multiple marriages have turned out. Peter Mbugua Maina, a 60-year-old former high school principal turned cereals wholesaler has two wives. “I married my first wife in 1982. Seven years later, I married my second wife,” he says. It has not been easy. “For years my first wife has perceived my second wife as an intruder who ruined her marriage. My first wife’s children also think that they ought to be the sole heirs to my property,” says the father of eight children. “I should have stuck with my first wife to keep the peace.” He fears that his children will go at each other’s throats should he die.
But does he love his two wives equally? “I was in love with my first wife when I married her. She was the village queen. She loved me even though I didn’t have much money. When I got a job, money started trickling in. Back then, being a high school principal was a huge achievement. My status demanded that I get a second or even third wife – after all, I was on the verge of being the richest man in the village. I wasn’t really in love, with my second wife at first but I was happy with her because she was beautiful, younger and more sexually exploratory.”....
