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Thread: Poly rants

  1. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by beanieboy
    Flat! Yes! I remember the first time I came to MN, and went up north. I kept saying, "look at all the trees!!!" My friends said, "uh, yeah." And I said, "No! All of the trees!!! And there are hills!!!"

    When you drive on 80, and there is nothing but cornfields for 2 hours, this is amazing.

    The first time I came out east was like that. I had never seen a mountian before, truly inspiring.

  2. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbo
    That's the Sibbie's rolling pin. Robin stopped by to borrow it when she was baking a up a batch of fresh truth, and she still hasn't returned it.
    Well, I'M not gonna try and take it from her!

  3. #78
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    Check this out!!! I got this in an email! Top 30 things to do at Walmart

    1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
    and stranding them at strategic locations.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
    throughout the day.

    3. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

    4. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
    spray air fresheners.

    5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

    6. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
    especially in thin aisles.

    7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
    think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

    8. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
    and turn the volume up to full blast.

    9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
    you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

    10. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
    taking it for a test drive.

    11. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
    behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

    12. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

    13. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

    14. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

    15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
    will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

    16. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

    17. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

    18. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
    say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

    19. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
    them yelling "Red Rover."

    20. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
    in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

    21. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
    battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

    22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
    the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
    possible.

    23. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
    Mission Impossible.

    24. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

    25. Two words: Marco Polo.

    26. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

    27. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
    something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

    28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
    your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

    29. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
    the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
    much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

    30. Go into the dressing room and wait a couple of minutes and then yell "Hey there's no toilet paper in here!"
    Last edited by MrsDearDelmar; June 7th, 2005 at 06:34 PM.

  4. #79
    Just livin' life one day at a time. Poly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDearDelmar

    30. Go into the dressing room and wait a couple of minutes and then yell "Hey there's no toilet paper in here!"
    I've heard these before. This one's pretty funny.
    "The most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" - Ronald Reagan



    Check out the "rightest" of all right wing moms. FarRightMom


    Upgrade your TOL membership.

  5. #80
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    Poly, if you saw someone anxiously awaiting your parking spot, could you have gotten out of your car and told them you were not leaving any time soon? Everyone, I'm sure including yourself, wants a prime spot but I'm sure they would have moved on if you'de told them you weren't leaving just yet.
    Could your person in question have been disabled in some way? I'm just asking because in one case a couple of years ago I was in a similar situation as you when I noticed that the driver in question was, indeed, disabled (only one leg) and I felt like an arse after whining in my rear view mirror...
    "build a fire for a man and you keep him warm for a day; set a man on fire and he stays warm the rest of his life"

  6. #81
    Journeyman MrsDearDelmar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poly
    I've heard these before. This one's pretty funny.
    Yep, #30 is my favorite too!
    I feel your pain Poly, I was there this afternoon and was putting stuff in my van and this guy pulls up behind me and just sits there. I took my time, I didn't even have a good spot. It gets frustrating!
    Have a great night.

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