toldailytopic: Is getting a divorce immoral?

The TheologyOnline.com TOPIC OF THE DAY for May 24th, 2012 08:49 AM

toldailytopic: Is getting a divorce immoral?

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It depends on your motivation.

In some cases, not getting a divorce could be immoral. And not allowing divorce at all is definitely immoral.

Save in the case of abuse or infidelity, divorce is immoral. Though Biblical standards of morality should not be imposed on society at large, Christians should be a better example in this area.

I do think there is an extreme tendency in current society to "do what feels good" regardless of the negative effects on other people. I believe this is an outgrowth of the elevation of the individual over the family and community. Unfortunately many Christians have fallen victim to this as well. However, divorce rates among Christians that attend church regularly are actually lower than the general population.

I think western society needs to learn to put the integrity of the family and protection of children first before an individual's feeling of annoyance.

This

Alate_One said:

Save in the case of abuse or infidelity, divorce is immoral. Though Biblical standards of morality should not be imposed on society at large, Christians should be a better example in this area.

I do think there is an extreme tendency in current society to "do what feels good" regardless of the negative effects on other people. I believe this is an outgrowth of the elevation of the individual over the family and community. Unfortunately many Christians have fallen victim to this as well. However, divorce rates among Christians that attend church regularly are actually lower than the general population.

I think western society needs to learn to put the integrity of the family and protection of children first before an individual's feeling of annoyance.

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What is the best option?

Go to God and the instructions He gave us and work it out.

Hardheartedness is never a cure.

Ephesians 4:32

We have so much to learn as Christians on how to live for God.

If we are not living for God as individuals, is it not doubly difficult to do so when we are married?

I don't think that getting a divorce for cause is immoral. For cause would be for adultery, abuse, incest and addictions, things where the covenant of marriage is broken. I think that it is always best to fix things but that is not always possible.

Regardless of the reason for getting divorced, getting remaired is whole different can of worms and almost always immoral.

Real Sorceror said:

It depends on your motivation.

In some cases, not getting a divorce could be immoral. And not allowing divorce at all is definitely immoral.

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^ This

Marriage is a contract expressing a commitment from each party involved. If one or both parties have failed to honor those commitments, then the marriage contract has been breached. If they cannot be reconciled, then the contract is broken.

CabinetMaker said:

Regardless of the reason for getting divorced, getting remaired is whole different can of worms and almost always immoral.

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Really? I find that statement to be an odd one.

When my grandfather lost his wife, he remarried to a family friend soon after. They were both almost 70 and just didn't want to be alone in their later years.

When my father divorced, he also remarried and had a third child. I can't imagine life without my little sister or my step-mother. It just wouldn't be the same.

How are either of these cases immoral? People get married or remarried for the wrong reasons all the time, but saying remarriage is "almost always" immoral just doesn't make any sense.

Depends on the reason for the divorce.

Marriage is a "God ordained" "institution".

Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,

Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Matthew 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

CabinetMaker said:

Regardless of the reason for getting divorced, getting remaired is whole different can of worms and almost always immoral.

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This type of statement really makes me sad.

The intentional mistranslation (or just plain naivete of the translators) of English bibles like the KJV in regards to marriage customs during Jesus times has led to this type of ill informed statement.

Marriage was and always will be a civil contract and not a religious sacrament/rite... those that want to make it a religious activity are totally missing Jesus' point in his teachings.

The bottom line is that once you get a civil divorce, you are free to remarry... plain and simple.

BUT, the burden of trying to reconcile a marriage for a christian is set very high and should only be a last resort.

The last thing I would state is that God himself is divorced from Israel and remarried to the ekklesia. If you look at the long suffering that God had with Israel's religious fornication, it is a good example for us.

Not always. I have a friend whose husband recently left her. They live in a very expensive city, have four children, two of which she homeschools (the other two are not in school). He's had multiple affairs and is already dating someone again. He says he wants a divorce. Do I think he's acting immorally? Absolutely.

My father had an affair after 28 years of marriage. He ended divorcing my mother to be with his mistress. I would say that is immoral behavior. He was also married before my mother and told her he was divorced in order to get her to date him. Seeing a pattern?

Now, that being said there are many people who simply decide they do not want to be married to one another anymore, both agree and they divorce. I don't think it's immoral. It may be sad and difficult but that isn't immoral. There are also cases of abuse and neglect. I wouldn't call those situations immoral either.

Immoral? I read the statement of Jesus in Mathew 19 as saying it is against the will of God. Therefore it is sin. Also I do not find anything in the Bible that speaks to a woman "putting away her husband". Divorce in the Bible is always solely something a husband did. I would support legislation making marriage between a man and woman an irrevocable act.

the child joins you together

Mark 10:9

King James Version (KJV)

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

No. This is similar to asking if killing a person is immoral.
In and of itself, no. Can be? Sure. May not be? Yes.

I think God's best is that a man a woman stay married for ever -- until death do us part. However, we are dealing with flawed human beings and because of that there are valid reasons for divorce.

Just for the sake of argument:

Can anybody find a valid reason as to why a woman been beaten (not once but several times) by her husband to an extent to be sent to the hospital (not once, but several times) should not file for a divorce?

Can anybody find a valid reason for not divorcing a husband throwing acid at a wife's face and disfiguring her, and blinding her because of it?

Can anybody find a valid reason for not divorcing a husband that the wife knows is violating his own daughter(s) and also his only son?

I cannot find a valid reason for not divorcing in the examples above or many others that could be provided. IT WOULD BE IMMORAL NOT TO DIVORCE in these cases.

WHAT I FIND IMMORAL are the trivial marriages that produce trivial divorces. The ones that after a few hours, a few days, a few months, the ones with 'irreconcilable differences.' That's what is immoral. There is nothing that God cannot do to fix a marriage that has 'differences.' 'Differences' can be reconcilable.

Marriage is a serious thing, however, in this day and age, it is taken too lightly.

The "I", "me", and "myself" are furiously working and cannot see anybody else in its path. "I", "me", and "myself" do not like the way he/she looks in the morning. "I", "me", and "myself" cannot stand he/she did not lift/dropped the toilet seat. Well, that's irreconcilable differences and "I", "me", and "myself" want a divorce.

chrysostom said:

the child joins you together

Mark 10:9

King James Version (KJV)

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

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Nope.. this verse is against others trying to wreck a marriage.

oatmeal said:

What is the best option?

Go to God and the instructions He gave us and work it out.

Hardheartedness is never a cure.

Ephesians 4:32

We have so much to learn as Christians on how to live for God.

If we are not living for God as individuals, is it not doubly difficult to do so when we are married?

Click to expand...

Yes, but "going to God" needs to be more than reading the Bible or obeying preachers. It also needs to be contacting God directly in our hearts and higher minds and listening to the guidance that comes.
:idea:

lifeisgood said:

I think God's best is that a man a woman stay married for ever -- until death do us part.

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Agree.

Just for the sake of argument:

Can anybody find a valid reason as to why a woman been beaten (not once but several times) by her husband to an extent to be sent to the hospital (not once, but several times) should not file for a divorce?

Can anybody find a valid reason for not divorcing a husband throwing acid at a wife's face and disfiguring her, and blinding her because of it?

Can anybody find a valid reason for not divorcing a husband that the wife knows is violating his own daughter(s) and also his only son?

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Actually, I believe he should be put to death. And then that "till death do us part" is taken care of.