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Thread: Which parent?

  1. #1
    Get your armor ready! Tambora's Avatar
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    Question Which parent?

    Thought this might be a good topic to discuss concerning family structure that could also branch out into discussion of mother and father roles.

    Poll question is:
    Which parent would you say was most influential with your spiritual growth as a Christian?
    (I am speaking of time spent with Bible study, prayer time, going to church, etc.)

    I ask this because of a study that mentioned that children view their mother as being their primary spiritual teacher.
    This includes things such as time set apart for prayer or Bible study, going to church together, etc.

    Two things mentioned in the study stood out to me, and truthfully it made me a bit sad, were what the majority of these children said.
    1. Mothers attended church with their children much more than their fathers.
    2. When the child had questions about GOD or the Bible, their first choice of who to go to was the mother over the father. (Note: this was not due to availability, as they would wait for the mother to be available even if the father was there.)


    Why do you suppose that is?

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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  3. #2
    TOL Legend musterion's Avatar
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    When very young, like well under 10, I remember my mother taking us to church(es) on occasion. Dad sometimes came. When questions needed asked, we went to Dad. So...not sure how to vote, really.
    "There is one thing worse than going to Hell. That would be going to Hell and having it be a surprise."
    Terence Mc Lean

    [most will be very surprised]


    Everyone who has not believed the Gospel of grace is not saved, no matter what else they believe or do.
    By that measure, how many professing Christians are on their way to the Lake of Fire?

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    Quote Originally Posted by musterion View Post
    When very young, like well under 10, I remember my mother taking us to church(es) on occasion. Dad sometimes came. When questions needed asked, we went to Dad. So...not sure how to vote, really.
    Yeah, for some it will be equal.
    It was equal in my household as a child.
    But I can say that Father was the ramrod of it all.
    He made sure that we did those things as a whole family.

    But I do remember that with some of my friends families, the father rarely attended church with the mother and children,
    As a kid, you don't really think about things like that.
    But looking back, it was true then that our church was filled with more mothers than fathers.

    The study I had read was mainly asking the question of why it was that more mothers were involved than fathers in the majority census.
    So I wondered if it was true with the majority of TOL Christian members.

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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    Proverbs 31:10 ebenz47037's Avatar
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    For me, neither my mom nor my dad gave us any spiritual guidance (Mom used the church to get bills paid and to get food and clothing for us, but wouldn't go to any church otherwise. Dad wasn't around.). My spiritual guidance started out with Nana and my aunt, Mary. They are actually the only Christians I was around as a young child. I honestly think it was due to their guidance and prayers that I accepted the dare from my schoolmates to go to the "holy roller" church down the street from my house when I was twelve years old. There I met Pastor Paul and his wife, Jan; Rachel Larson, my Sunday school teacher; and Leonard, my first youth pastor. At that time, I was extremely suicidal due to neglect and child abuse. Those four people showed me how God's love was there for me by showing love to me without knowing me. About a year or so later, I met my best friend, Susan, at the same church. We were friends until she passed away about six months after my husband did. I considered Pastor Paul a father figure until he passed away about two years ago. I can honestly say that if my faith hadn't grown as much as it did over the years, that I would have fallen apart with all the deaths I have experienced over the last twenty years.
    They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. -- Isaiah 40:31

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    Quote Originally Posted by ebenz47037 View Post
    For me, neither my mom nor my dad gave us any spiritual guidance (Mom used the church to get bills paid and to get food and clothing for us, but wouldn't go to any church otherwise. Dad wasn't around.). My spiritual guidance started out with Nana and my aunt, Mary. They are actually the only Christians I was around as a young child. I honestly think it was due to their guidance and prayers that I accepted the dare from my schoolmates to go to the "holy roller" church down the street from my house when I was twelve years old. There I met Pastor Paul and his wife, Jan; Rachel Larson, my Sunday school teacher; and Leonard, my first youth pastor. At that time, I was extremely suicidal due to neglect and child abuse. Those four people showed me how God's love was there for me by showing love to me without knowing me. About a year or so later, I met my best friend, Susan, at the same church. We were friends until she passed away about six months after my husband did. I considered Pastor Paul a father figure until he passed away about two years ago. I can honestly say that if my faith hadn't grown as much as it did over the years, that I would have fallen apart with all the deaths I have experienced over the last twenty years.
    Stories like this can sometimes be hard to comment on, as they are both sad and happy news.
    Abuse is awful.
    But so happy you found GOD's love.

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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    Neither. But, my grandparents raised us until I was 10. We were dirt poor, and some church would give us clothes every so often. I figured that meant something good was there. Then, my evil step father had us go to Catholic school for awhile. We got dropped off for Mass (which was in Latin). Then I went to high school and left home first chance I got.

    I was loved unconditionally by my grandparents and my mom, though, so I feel very fortunate to have had that.

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    I'm starting to think I'm the only one here that had a happy childhood.

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tambora View Post
    I'm starting to think I'm the only one here that had a happy childhood.
    Mine was happy. Mostly.

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    Proverbs 31:10 ebenz47037's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tambora View Post
    I'm starting to think I'm the only one here that had a happy childhood.
    Although I have a lot of bad memories, I do have some happy ones too. Most of them involve Nana and Aunt Mary. One good thing is that I was able to forgive (not forget, though) the things my mom did and we had a somewhat decent relationship the last five years of Mom's life.
    They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. -- Isaiah 40:31

    Vegetarian - Indian word for lousy hunter



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    Quote Originally Posted by glorydaz View Post
    Mine was happy. Mostly.
    You certainly turned out OK!

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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    Quote Originally Posted by ebenz47037 View Post
    Although I have a lot of bad memories, I do have some happy ones too. Most of them involve Nana and Aunt Mary. One good thing is that I was able to forgive (not forget, though) the things my mom did and we had a somewhat decent relationship the last five years of Mom's life.
    Makes me realize how blessed a child is when he/she has two loving parents that they can fully trust for their safety and well-being.

    "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." Exodus 15:3

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    That's a tough one. My Dad insisted I be baptized and go to Catholic school and church but my Grandma was influential as well as my Grandpa, both on my Mom's side. I'd have to say my Mom overall though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tambora View Post
    Makes me realize how blessed a child is when he/she has two loving parents that they can fully trust for their safety and well-being.
    I realized that watching Aunt Mary and Uncle Don as I grew up. They're one reason that I am the way I am. If he had lived, I believe that Steve and I would still be married (after 25 years) and have at least one or two more kids.
    They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. -- Isaiah 40:31

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    Over 5000 post club 1Mind1Spirit's Avatar
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    Neither my mom or dad went to church.
    I went with my 2 older half sisters.
    1 nine years older the other 12 my senior.
    Remind me of glorydayz and Tambora.

    When I was nine I went forward and was "saved" with between 5 an 10 other kids.
    The next Sunday the preacher said all the kids who got saved last week get ready to be baptized.
    My sister that was 9 years older than me grabbed me and took me downstairs and told me I wasn't old enough to get saved and baptized.
    I must have become a real pain after that as I questioned every adult I knew, "how do you get saved."
    One of my dad's oldest friends nicknamed me Nicodemus.
    Called me that up to the day he died some 20 years ago.

    I remember not long after that asking God what was my sin.
    What came to my mind was when I was under the bed with my little brother saying fats and tellin' mom we were only playin'.
    Taught my little brother how to get away with lying.

    Interesting side note is that that same dude who nicknamed me had came over with his wife to play cards.
    It was her fats that I was pointing out to my little brother.
    I was 4 and he was 3.

    Long story short.
    I found out I had to go to the source to be saved.

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